


Killer-Bat

by BadBlond099



Series: Jason Todd; Teen Titan? [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Animal Abuse, Bruce & Jason & Dick are the same age, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Domestic Violence, F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, Gen, Gotham Academy, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Implied/Referenced Gunplay, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Infidelity, John & Mary are bad parents, Kudos if you figure out what each piece of literature's importance was, Literary References & Allusions, M/M, Non-Consensual Kissing, Organized Crime, Sheila Haywood is Sheila Todd because I like Jason's name, Sheila is the WORST parent, They're all relevant I swear, Thomas & Martha are bad parents, William "Liam" Distal is scum, sociopathic tendencies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:02:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 38,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21633364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadBlond099/pseuds/BadBlond099
Summary: What if Bruce never became Batman?What if Jason and Dick were the same age as Bruce?An AU where the boys meet and become friends, connected through tragedies in their lives.In the end there will always be a Batman.
Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth/Martha Wayne, Dick Grayson & Harley Quinn, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd/Selina Kyle
Series: Jason Todd; Teen Titan? [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1547974
Comments: 7
Kudos: 39





	1. Bruce Wayne - Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! This fic is loosely connected to "Probation" for now, but will be important to the story in the future. That being said, reading this is optional if you're reading "Probation" and reading "Probation" is optional for reading this.
> 
> Point being, they're connected, but separate. Read either at your own leisure. Please note that the rating is different, though. Because of this, I won't get into explicit details when the darker stuff happens, but know that this will get dark. The universe in its entirety is supposed to be a dark and twisted way that roles may have been changed for Bruce, Dick, and Jason.
> 
> Aaand before I rant too long, I hope you enjoy my latest twisted work!

“You’re a goddamned monster!”

“I’m doing what I have to!”

“How many women do you have to screw before you’ll be satisfied, you sick—”

SLAP!

It was all Bruce could do to keep his head down and focus on his studies. Alfred waited nearby, looking particularly worried.

Bruce wasn’t stupid. He knew that his home life wasn’t perfect. He learned at a young age what infidelity meant and just how well it described his father. His mother had stayed with him because she had nowhere else to go and the Wayne family fortune belonged to Thomas Wayne, not her.

But that didn’t mean she took things quietly.

Bruce’s mother came running through the dining room where Alfred was supposed to be tutoring Bruce, tears streaming down her face, and per the usual, Alfred chased after her, leaving Bruce to his own devices.

Not that he minded. He had no problems in school. He was always getting top marks, and he found joy in the fact that his parents liked to celebrate his good grades separately, giving him twice the reward.

Not to mention he knew that his mother needed Alfred more than he did at times like these.

It wasn’t his father’s fault. His mother could be so unreasonable sometimes. She knew that he was a good man. He acted in the interests of the masses rather than just himself on so many important matters. If he needed to find some extra affection, it only seemed reasonable for her to allow it if she couldn’t provide it.

Plus, Bruce’s mother wasn’t entirely guilt-free either. She had gotten rather close with Alfred over the years and, while Bruce’s father might not have noticed it, it was as plain as day to Bruce just how much Alfred loved his mother. And if she was allowed her little tryst, then why was she always so keen on calling her husband out on his?

Studying was out of the question with the sounds of his mother’s sobbing nearby and his father’s frustrated shouts in the other direction. Bruce tucked his books away and slipped out one of the many spare entrances to his home in order to explore the city in the early evening.

Gotham was a dangerous place. Everyone knew that. But knowing the right people helped. Like always, Bruce went to the public library and spotted Jason in his favorite corner, curled up with a collection of Flannery O’Connor’s Greatest Works.

“You should find a hobby that’s not boring,” Bruce teased, getting his friend’s attention.

Jason grinned but didn’t bother to look up from the book until he finished the page. “You should find a hobby that doesn’t involve bothering me.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now pop in a bookmark and let’s go. There’s a place I want to show you.”

“Some of us don’t have the money to afford a library card. Can’t you just let me finish this story?” Jason whined, thoroughly engrossed in the book.

“Dude just ask, and I’ll not only get you a copy, but I’ll have the author sign it and make it out to you! Now come on!”

Jason rolled his eyes and shut the book. “I don’t take handouts, B. You know that…plus the author died, like, in the 60’s, so good luck with that. What’s got you so eager to get out of here anyways?” Jason got up from his preferred spot, leaving the book in the seat in order to follow Bruce. “If you try to sneak me into some weird adult shop again, I’m going to abandon you to the dregs of Gotham.”

Bruce knew that, despite all his protests, Jason was one of the only people who valued him for who he was, not who he was related to. They’d met a couple years back when Bruce went into 9th grade at Gotham Academy. Jason was a new student at the school and kept to himself. Having been used to students trying to get in his good graces as quickly as possible, the bookworm piqued Bruce’s interest. That interest only grew as Jason would show up to school with tears in his uniform, bruises on his arms, and the occasional cut on his lip. The rest of the class pegged him as a transient and left him alone. But Bruce wanted to know the truth and approached him, offering to take him to the nurse’s office to get a few scrapes bandaged.

Jason seemed surprised to have someone reach out to him, but refused the help based on the excuse that he didn’t want to deal with the nurse asking questions about what had happened to him.

Not a day later, near the gates of Gotham Academy, Bruce saw Jason get dragged into an alley. Throwing caution to the wind, he went after him only to watch Jason brutally take down four grown men.

A fifth managed to get him in a hold and a sixth began punching Jason over and over again in the stomach. Bruce wound up smashing his backpack against the sixth guy’s head, giving Jason the opportunity to get free and fight the last guy off.

When Bruce asked why the men had attacked him Jason just shrugged and said it wasn’t surprising to get mugged on his way home. Bruce had never seen students actually walk home from the Academy, so it wasn’t even a danger that had crossed his mind. But Jason had handled himself amiably and came out on top. He spat out a mouthful of blood and held a hand out to Bruce, thanking him for the save and asking for a name since, apparently, Jason was the only person in school who didn’t have a clue who Bruce Wayne was.

From that point on, Bruce and Jason were inseparable.

Neither one of them discussed their home lives much, but each assumed it was bad. Jason often went to the library to avoid going home and Bruce, who had a nasty habit of sneaking away, would meet with him there so that the two of them could go out and have each other’s backs should anything happen.

On this particular night, Bruce wanted to take charge and show Jason his favorite part of the city—a rare occurrence since typically Jason was the only one with a clue where anything was in Gotham. They reached the outskirts of the city where a long-term circus camp was set up. Upon getting closer to the tent, Jason scoffed. “Oh, you know Grayson?”

Bruce was taken aback. “You know the Flying Graysons?”

“The what? No, I meant—”

“Shove over, brats!” A man who reeked of stale beer pushed past them into the tent. Jason winced as he stumbled, betraying the fact that he was hiding some injuries that Bruce didn’t know about.

“You okay?”

“’M fine,” Jason mumbled. “What did you want to do?”

“Oh! This is the best show in town!” I’ll buy tickets and—”

“Don’t bother.”

“What? You don’t want to go?”

“I didn’t say that. Just, don’t waste your money…I’ve got a standing offer. We just need to find Grayson’s trailer.”

Bruce was thrilled to know that Jason had an inside connection. It never ceased to amaze him just how street-savvy Jason was, even in a pit of a place like Gotham.

They wandered the grounds for a bit before coming upon the Flying Grayson’s trailer. Jason sighed and knocked on the door. Almost instantly, it flew open and Bruce’s favorite clown stumbled out, throwing himself against Jason.

“You really came!”

“Get off of me, you freak!” Jason struggled to get free from the clown only to wrap his arm around his chest. Bruce could guess that a few ribs were bruised at least. “Look, it wasn’t my idea. Apparently, B’s a fan of the freak show.”

The clown’s eyes lit up upon looking at Bruce. It was somewhat unsettling. “Bruce Wayne brought you to my show? I’m honored!”

“Uhh, don’t mention it?” It was weird to hear the clown speaking at all, now that Bruce thought about it. “H-how do you two know each other?”

Ignoring Jason’s obvious discomfort, the clown draped himself over Jason’s shoulders and explained, “We’re Academy chums. Right, Jaybird?”

Jason grunted but did his best to hold the clown’s weight. “Dick’s a year ahead of us,” he said through gritted teeth. “Don’t really know why he’s so attached to me, but I can’t seem to shake him.”

“Well, I just knew my Jaybird was something special. To think you’ve even caught the eye of Bruce Wayne.”

Bruce couldn’t say that he liked meeting the clown in person. He loved watching him from a distance, but this was…disappointing, to say the least. The only redeeming feature the guy seemed to have was his friendship with Jason, if it could even be called that. Why couldn’t he recognize that Jason was injured?

“Oh! Right!” The clown let go of Jason and fished a couple of tickets out of his pocket. “Here. Next show starts in ten. I’ll look for you guys in the crowd.”

Jason took the tickets and they watched the clown skip away. “So, why was he in the Flying Grayson’s trailer?” Bruce asked, trying to break the silence between them.

“What the heck’s a Flying Grayson?” Jason replied. “I was just looking for Dick’s trailer.”

“Dick’s the clown, though.”

“You’re not making any sense. Let’s just go get decent seats.”

They went back to the main tent, had their tickets ripped, and settled into the front row next to some rowdy kids and their frustrated parents. Bruce made sure to sit Jason on the edge of the bench so that he wouldn’t have to worry about taking a stray elbow that would agitate his ribs.

When the lights went out and the ringmaster came out, the wonders truly began.

Bruce loved Haly’s Circus. His parents had taken him to it for years. It was one of the rare excursions they all made together. The first time they’d gone he hadn’t understood any of it. He thought the people performing used magic—how else were they supposed to accomplish such incredible feats? But the best of them was always the Flying Graysons; a couple of trapeze artists who moved so mesmerizingly that it could take your breath away.

Preceding their spectacular display was always the clown duo: Pantalone and Pierrot. Pierrot was a spritely young girl that Pantalone would tease and torment as his act. He’d chase her about the stage, sic monkeys on her, and play goofy little pranks on her. Even though it was all for show, it had bothered Bruce to see Pierrot so abused. So, at his very first show, he threw peanuts at Pantalone, booing the clown for his villainous deeds. To his amazement, the rest of the crowd would cheer him on and join in, throwing various things at Pantalone. Before anyone knew it, attacking the cruel clown became a staple in the show. They even included snacks outside of the tent in bags labeled “ammo” as an added means of raking in the dough.

Now, having met Pantalone up close, Bruce felt his childish hatred of the clown was justified.

Jason reacted to the show much like a star-struck child as he watched it for the first time and Bruce was almost more amused by his friend’s reactions alone. For the tough guy that Jason tried so hard to be, he always looked so innocent when it came to things that had lost their mysticism to Bruce.

When Pantalone and Pierrot took to the ring the crowd instantly began booing and pelting the villainous clown with whatever they could find. Bruce even searched his pockets for anything that he could use, excited to join in the tradition. But Jason didn’t seem amused.

Pierrot proceeded to perform feats of incredible balance and flexibility on the back of a horse that Pantalone chased around clumsily. Apparently someone in the crowd had decided to try something a little different, and began throwing little firecrackers into the ring. The first POP made Pantalone jump, encouraging the crowd to toss in more. But the little explosions spooked Pierrot’s horse, and it began to run wildly around the ring, trying to throw the unexpecting rider. Pantalone went into a genuine panic, trying to catch the startled horse in earnest as it bucked and kicked.

The crowd continued to laugh and throw things, except for Jason, who left his seat and jumped into the ring just as Pierrot was thrown. He managed to cushion her fall by sliding onto the dirt where she landed. He let out a strained grunt, then pulled the petite clown close and rolled to the side before the horse could trample them both.

Bruce felt helpless as he stayed behind and watched the scene unfold before him. Pantalone dropped to his knees and slid over to Jason and Pierrot, but Jason managed to right himself and help Pierrot up, keeping her dainty hand in his. She did a little curtsy to thank him and Pantalone let out a dramatic sigh and faked like collapsing of exhaustion. Pierrot kissed the tips of her fingers and then used the red makeup to paint an exaggerated smile on Jason’s face. She then held his hand up and had him take a bow with her.

“What a spectacular assist! Move over Pantalone, there’s a new clown in town, and this Joker’s already gunning for Pierrot’s heart,” Haly shouted, helping to recover the scene as a couple crewmen calmed the horse and pulled it aside.

Pantalone got back to his feet, winked at Jason, and watched as Pierrot led him back over to his seat next to Bruce.

“That was amazing,” Bruce whispered a Jason sat down gingerly.

“Ow…Honestly, she can’t weigh more than fifty pounds. It was like holding a doll,” he explained. “I just reacted without thinking. Was that supposed to be part of the show?”

“No way. The horse has never done that that I know of.” Bruce was worried about Jason’s injuries, but the lights dropped save for a spotlight over Pantalone. “Oh, this is the best part!”

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” Haly’s voice rang out through the darkness, but Pantalone moved as if he were the ringmaster himself, all the while toying with a large parody version of the Ringmaster’s hat. “Look up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No…”

Pantalone ran right at Jason and Bruce, the light following him as he jumped, kicked off of the edge of the ring just in front of them, performed an unbelievable triple axel backflip and, upon his feet both planting on the dirt, throwing the hat straight up just in time for a woman to catch it and a man to catch her ankle. They swung over the crowd, flying through the air.

Bruce was a little confused as to why Pantalone continued to show off for them, but as long as the Graysons were performing their act, there was no reason to frown. The fantastic duo was unmatched in grace. They continued to juggle the hat between them and Pantalone, who would dramatically launch the hat back into the air whenever he caught it. Usually Pantalone would just stumble about clumsily, sending the hat flying while performing comical little pantomimes. This time, however, he performed impeccable flips, one after the other, each time the hat fell to him. Bruce and the rest of the crowd was completely astonished by the demonstration. Jason just scoffed and smiled, applauding each time Pantalone let go of the hat.

The show concluded when the Flying Graysons stuck their landing up at the platforms placed for them and Haly came back out to finish things off.

The moment that everyone began filing their way out of the tent, Pantalone rushed over to Bruce and Jason.

“Nice work earlier, Jaybird! I always knew you were the hero type. Nothing like the evil Pantalone!”

Jason rolled his eyes. “You guys don’t do the Commedia Dell’Arte justice.”

Pantalone very animatedly prostrated himself at Jason’s feet. “Oh, please forgive us, Shakespeare, for misusing a literary trope in our show! We are unworthy!”

Jason kicked at Pantalone gently. “Dude, cut it out. You’re so weird.”

“So, the flips and stuff…why do that this show?” Bruce ventured to ask. “It was kind of…I don’t know, upstaging?”

Pantalone got up and opened his mouth to explain but—

“DICK! GET OVER HERE!”

He shrugged. “Sorry. Duty calls. Catch you around school?”

“Whatever dude.”

Jason and Bruce took a stroll to the main Wayne Enterprises building in the middle of the city after the show.

“So, he just started bugging you out of nowhere?”

Jason nodded. “Yeah. It was right around when you started talking to me,” he added. “You’re approachable, though and he’s just plain weird. He was persistent, though. Now, I don’t know, I’m just used to him. Grayson’s the kind of tick you just can’t get rid of.”

“And you’re sure his name’s Richard Grayson?”

“I’m as sure as the guy told me that himself. Who am I to say if he lied?”

“What do you think the odds are that he’s a part of that circus troupe and not related to the Flying Graysons?”

“I’d guess pretty slim,” Jason offered. “It certainly explains a few things. I mean, the dude’s like a cat. He likes high places. I didn’t even realize he was a clown. When he said he was a circus performer I assumed it would be contortionism or the trapeze or something. He’s a limber guy.”

When they reached the same block as the Wayne building Bruce could already see Alfred and a car waiting for him. “Catch you later, Jay?”

“Oh no, after that I think you owe me a book. I could have spent my whole evening engulfed in a whole different world and instead you got me mugged by clowns. I’m not talking to you until you pay the fee of one book for my troubles,” Jason joked.

“Sure thing. I think Dr. Seuss is about your speed, right?”

Jason flipped him off as they parted ways laughing.

After that, Dick settled into things between the two of them like he’d always been there. The three of them were inseparable while on Gotham Academy campus. Dick was an open book about everything, though, while Jason remained mostly a mystery to Bruce. As it turned out, Dick was the only child of the Flying Graysons. When Bruce questioned why he acted as the clown instead of doing the trapeze, he gave the half-assed excuse that he was afraid of heights.

Soon Bruce came to recognize that, on days when Jason had injuries, Dick would often have bruises as well. He tried to confront Jason about it one day, wondering if maybe he and Dick weren’t on as good terms as they pretended to be. Jason refused to talk about it. Dick, on the other hand, was happy to chime in.

“Found some jerk trying to curb stomp our little Jaybird yesterday,” Dick said. “I couldn’t let Jay have all the fun, so I put my head on the curb next to his to see what it would feel like.”

“That’s not what happened, freak,” Jason protested. “Don’t tell him shit like that.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t always so private,” Dick teased. Bruce regretted bringing it up, seeing how uncomfortable Jason looked as Dick pestered him about opening up more.

“Just drop it, Dick. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, nobody should force him,” Bruce said. Jason gave him a grateful sidelong glance, but Dick was still keen on poking the bear.

“You’re really going to carry the burden of the world on your shoulders alone, aren’t you, Jaybird?” Dick seemed oddly frustrated—an emotion Bruce had previously believed he was incapable of feeling. “Just say the word and maybe next time there will be more than just me to help you out.”

“I don’t need help,” Jason muttered.

Dick scoffed before grabbing the middle of Jason’s uniform shirt and ripping it open. Bruce was going to snap at Dick, but he got a quick glance at Jason’s chest and it was like the wind had been knocked right out of him. Jason, rather than cover himself up, caught Dick by his collar with his left hand before pulling him into a solid punch with his right again and again.

The students nearby started screaming and the closest faculty member—the gym coach, of all things—came over to break things up. Jason got in one more solid punch before letting Dick drop. Before the coach could get a look, Jason clenched his bloodied hand at the middle of his shirt to hold it shut.

“I’m surprised you haven’t messed up like this already, Todd. You’re suspended for the rest of the week.”

“Sir, he didn’t—” Bruce tried to speak up, but Jason was already walking quickly to gather his backpack and get off of campus. “Wait!”

Bruce followed Jason all the way around the school grounds and to the main gate, only catching Jason’s arm as he took his first step past the boundaries of Gotham Academy. “Jason, I’m sorry I asked. I just thought maybe Dick was hurting you or something.”

Jason didn’t move to get away from Bruce, but he refused to look at him. “Not everyone can live in luxury and get every little cut bandaged up and a bowl of ice cream to make it all better afterwards.”

Bruce knew that Jason didn’t care about their difference in station. He’d made it clear when they first started to hang out that Bruce could be the King of England for all it mattered, and Jason wouldn’t treat him any differently than he’d treat a homeless guy. So, for him to try a personal attack like that, Bruce knew that he was just trying to deflect.

“Here.” Bruce tugged the cufflinks out of his sleeves and pressed them into Jason’s hand. “Buy all the bandages and ice cream you could ever want. Just, hear me out.”

Jason examined the cufflinks somberly. “I can’t take these,” he mumbled. “These are diamonds.”

“They’re nothing to me,” Bruce said with a shrug. “I’ll have a new pair tomorrow. Just take them. Sell them. I don’t care.”

Jason sighed. “Why do you care what happens to me?” he wondered. “Most people don’t even spare a passing glance.”

Bruce scoffed. “You and me, we’re basically family,” he said with a smile. “You’re the family I choose.”

Jason pocketed the cuff links and thanked Bruce. “Catch you in a week?”

“Tch. Catch you tonight is more like it,” he promised. “Usual corner of the library?”

“Someday I’ll finish a book without you interrupting me.”

Bruce spent the rest of his school day worrying. He knew what he’d seen when Jason’s shirt was ripped open. Bruises and injuries old and new wouldn’t have been a surprise. Bruce knew how rough Jason looked sometimes and would sometimes worry that maybe he hadn’t won some of the skirmishes he got pulled into. But the bruises that littered Jason’s collarbone and neck were different. They were smaller. Concentrated in a couple spots.

Bruce recognized kiss marks. His father wasn’t always the best about hiding his own. What bothered Bruce was the thought that Dick knew about the marks. Who had done that to Jason? Why would Dick know about it? What was really going on? It was troubling, but Bruce knew that Jason wouldn’t want to talk about any of it. The most that he could offer was comfort through whatever it was.

So, upon getting home, he dug through his family’s library until he finally came upon a book with the name Flannery O’Connor on it. Maybe it wasn’t a signed copy, but if it could at least put a smile on Jason’s face, that seemed like enough.

That evening, Bruce faced no challenge sneaking out. His father was ‘held up at work,’ for the third time that week, so his mother and Alfred were taking advantage of the window of time that her husband’s dalliances offered them. No one cared where Bruce wandered off to.

Upon getting to the library, he felt a little excited about seeing the look on Jason’s face upon being presented with the book…

…but he wasn’t there.

Bruce waited for hours, even reading the book himself (though he couldn’t make sense of how Jason was so enthralled with the story of a family with an obnoxious grandmother), but Jason never showed. Sneaking back into the manor was a little more difficult than sneaking out, but Bruce managed just fine, quietly vowing to try again the next day.

…and the next day…

…and the next.

The week of Jason’s suspension had nearly passed, and Bruce hadn’t see him once. After what Dick had done, Bruce didn’t want to be around him at all and went out of his way to ignore him in the halls. If Jason wanted to forgive Dick when he got back to school, then Bruce would consider easing up, but he wouldn’t bother before then.

On the day that Jason’s suspension was up, Bruce still saw no sign of him.

A week of school passed beyond the suspension.

No Jason.

Bruce ventured to ask the principal if there was any news on Jason’s suspension being extended only to learn that Jason’s extended absence was frustrating for the faculty too as his parents hadn’t excused any of it.

Which meant no one had heard from Jason for at least two weeks.

Worry outweighed fury and Bruce found himself cornering Dick on campus between classes to see if maybe he’d seen Jason.

“What difference does it make if I have?”

Bruce felt livid at that response. “This is all your fault!” he snapped. “You couldn’t just leave him alone?”

Dick’s mouth quirked up into a smile that made Bruce feel sick to his stomach. “You’re just a spoiled rich boy. What would you know about anything? Those of us bottom feeders have to eat too, you know.”

“It’s been two weeks! He could be hurt or…or…”

Dick scoffed. “Or what? If there was any real danger, I’m sure our uncorrupt academy’s faculty would address it. Right? There’s no way they’d let some street rat slip through the cracks.”

Bruce wanted to punch Dick in that moment as well. “You’re a piece of work. What’s your deal? Why were you so obsessed with him?”

“I think I heard you say it once. He’s the ‘family I choose,’ or something like that. It’s not like he gets a say in the matter.

Bruce checked the library every day, but Jason never showed up. He began checking on the faculty regularly to see if they’d taken any action to find their missing student. After the second visit they began telling him that his father had started calling in to excuse him. Bruce wasn’t sure that he believed them, but his mistrust only proved Dick right. Jason was probably just sick. Maybe he was finally getting the medical treatment for his injuries and recovery was taking a while. Maybe he was just enjoying his time alone.

One month had passed when Jason first showed his face at the Academy again. Bruce was so relieved. He tried to talk to him during classes, tried to catch him at lunch, tried to see him off at the gate, but somehow, he always missed him. The next day Jason attended again. Bruce noticed then that Jason looked thinner. His uniform fit loosely on him. An odd dusting of silver could be seen in his hair, which had grown out enough that he had taken to tying it back. His cheek bones were visible and his eyes sunken. It was clear that something was wrong. But still, Bruce couldn’t seem to find him whenever the opportunity to talk arose.

On the third day he was determined to at least talk to Jason. He didn’t want to push anything unnecessarily, but he needed answers.

At lunch he found Jason behind the upperclassmen building, back to the wall as Dick talked down to him.

Bruce moved to join them just as Dick put his hand against the wall by Jason’s head and leaned in, stealing a kiss.

Bruce ducked back around the side of the building, his heart pounding in his chest. He didn’t know how to process what he’d seen. He tried to think of what to say. What to ask even. And before he could think to go and bring it up, Jason passed by right in front of him. Their eyes locked for just a moment with recognition before Jason ducked and took off.

“Oh, you saw that?” Dick asked as he came around and found Bruce. “Look, Jay’s going to the circus tonight. If you have any questions, we’ll answer them after the show. I’ll even make sure that he sticks around long enough for the two of you to walk, okay?”

Bruce didn’t say a word, but after school he asked Alfred right away if he could go to Haly’s Circus. Alfred seemed reluctant, knowing that a visit to the circus was something that he liked to do with his whole family and his parents were to be busy that night. But Bruce convinced him that it would be fine without them, so Alfred agreed on the condition that he be allowed to attend with Bruce rather than allow him to run around on his own only to be escorted home after the fact.

Alfred and Bruce wound up in a seat about half way up the bleachers in the circus tent. There were even more people in the audience than usual, all attending because of the announcement of a third person joining the Flying Graysons’ act. Before the show even started, Bruce spotted Jason sitting in the same spot he’d been in when they attended together. Before he could get Jason’s attention, the lights went out.

“Welcome welcome, one and all, to what’s sure to be the most memorable night of your lives.” It wasn’t the ringmaster’s voice that rang out through the speakers. “Tonight’s show will be a little different. The clowns you naïve citizens have looked down upon will take to the light as those who flew above fall to the earth.”

A spotlight clicked on just in time to show both of the flying Graysons landing face first in the center of the ring, their necks snapping horribly upon impact. The crowd gasped and screamed, but people seemed more convinced that this was part of the act rather recognizing the threat that now loomed over them.

“Master Bruce, we are leaving,” Alfred said quickly, his old secret service training kicking in. He kept Bruce low and covered him with his own body.

A couple spotlights clicked on and the audience’s exclamations grew as they expressed their shock at seeing the Waynes in the show.

That got Alfred and Bruce to stop. They looked and saw Thomas and Martha Wayne at the top of one trapeze post. The two of them were tied together and had no other rope to use to support their weight.

“Good god! Somebody stop this!” Alfred demanded, his duty to Bruce all but forgotten as he swam through the panicked crowd, trying to get to the ring.

Another spotlight clicked on, this time showing a single man on the far post who was tied up and also had a noose around his neck, connected to the top of the post.

“That’s right! Tonight and tonight only, witness the decision of one woman without a cent to her name as she makes the ultimate choice! Kill the man who has been pimping out her kid or kill the man who fathered that kid and the wife he chose to stay with.”

“Master Thomas!” Alfred continued to push his way to the front. “Martha!”

A spotlight clicked on a woman on the ground in the circle with a gun in her hands. The woman didn’t even hesitate. She pointed the gun up at the Waynes and pulled the trigger.

CLICK!

The sound seemed to echo through the tent. Everyone had gone silent in that moment, but no bullet fired out of the gun.

“Unbelievable. Even in your final opportunity, you fail to make up for what you’ve done.” All of the spotlights converged on a single swing hanging between the two platforms. Standing on the swing was Dick, dressed in a colorful parody of his parents’ usual spectacular attire. He proceeded to point a gun towards the woman on the ground and fired a single shot, the bullet finding its target right between her eyes.

“Mom!”

Bruce watched as Jason stepped into the ring, slowly approaching the now dead woman fearfully.

“We have to help them,” Bruce begged. “His parents, his best friend, they were all in danger. What was going on? How could this be orchestrated by Dick? “Alfred, we have to!”

“I’m trying, sir! Martha!”

“Alfred!” Martha’s cries could be heard over the crowd, which had finally begun to disperse after the actual gunshot. “Bruce!”

“It’s kind of funny, hearing you call for your child at a time like this. To think, Sheila couldn’t even spare her son a second thought. She just wanted to make sure that her son’s father finally suffered for abandoning them.”

“Stop! You’ve done enough!” Jason shouted. “Just stop!”

Dick swung back and forth until he’d built up enough motion to leap out and land nimbly on the platform where the single man stood. The man threw his weight around a bit, trying to attack Dick only to slip and nearly fall off. Dick caught the man by his throat and held him in place.

“Your call, friend. Just say the word and I’ll pull him back up.”

Jason stared at Dick indignantly. Bruce shouted, trying to get his friend’s attention. Trying to appeal to his humanity. Trying to get him to realize how fucked up this show had become.

“Dick, please,” Jason said just loud enough to be heard.

Dick grimaced and let go of the man, whose scream was cut short the moment the rope pulled taut.

“Jason! Jason! You have to stop this!” Bruce begged. “Dick! Please!”

Dick looked down at Bruce and smiled. “If only you knew what it’s like for people like us.”

“You and I aren’t alike!” Jason shouted. “I…I couldn’t…”

Dick rolled his eyes and pointed his gun at the Waynes across the way. “Tell me, Jason Wayne. Has it ever benefited you to share that man’s blood?”

Bruce felt like the blood in his veins had been replaced with ice. “N-no. He’s lying! You’re not…you’re not—”

“This man’s blood is the reason for your suffering. He’s the reason for what’s been done to you! He doesn’t deserve to live!”

“And you do?” Jason asked.

Dick’s smile faded in that moment. “I want to help you. I want to free you of your chains.”

“Are you joking? You just want to make yourself feel better for what you let happen.”

Bruce wasn’t sure what was happening anymore. Alfred had made his way to the circle and was desperately trying to find a way to reach his parents and save them from the lunatic.

“Come down here. Face me. You don’t have to do this.”

Dick scoffed but lowered the gun and used the rope still connected to the hanged man to slide down and then jump onto the dirt in a practiced landing. He walked over to Jason and reached out, as if to offer intimacy as an apology. Rather than respond gently, Jason pulled a switchblade out of his pocket and swiped at Dick. He managed to slice into Dick’s cheek before Dick caught his wrist and forced him to drop the knife.

“It’s okay, Jaybird. I’m the only one who can hurt you now.” He turned away and shot with great accuracy.

“NOOO!”

Alfred’s cry rang out as blood sprayed from the platform just beyond his reach. It took a moment before Bruce’s parents collapsed and fell from the platform. Just like the Flying Graysons, they hit the dirt at an unnatural angle, completing the opus of death.

Dick retrieved Jason’s knife and slashed at Jason, mirroring the cut on his own face before dropping his weapons and stepping back, laughing uncontrollably.


	2. Dick Grayson - Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See how it plays out from Dick Grayson's perspective. See what choices led to his madness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again and twisting the knife! Here's hoping nobody expected things to get lighter after Bruce's prologue. Cuuuz they don't. Sure, Bruce's parents are scummy and in it for their own gain, but they don't quite compare to Dick's parents. His absentee mother and psycho perfectionist father are disgusting people (in this fic, of course. No reflection on Mary and John Grayson in the comics. This is purely for the sake of my dark AU).
> 
> Anywho, some of the violence is a little more graphic in this chapter, but still sidesteps the details as much as possible. Also, child prostitution IS referred to, so just uhh, turn back now if you can't handle that. No details are given it's just kind of a horrible fact.
> 
> Lastly, this IS still connected to my "Probation" story. I know it doesn't seem like it, but hey, I'm world building before it comes up. Makes the characters more likeable, I think. Ooor hateable? However you want to see it. Still not required that you read the other to follow this and ipso-facto. In fact, they're not exactly connected yet. But they WILL be.
> 
> Enjoy!

“DICK! GET OVER HERE!”

Dick shrugged, trying his best to feign ignorance in front of Jason and Bruce. “Sorry. Duty calls. Catch you around school?”

“Whatever dude.” It wasn’t much, but that was all that was needed between the two of them. Dick winked at Jason before running to the tent’s backstage. He barely made it past the curtain before his father’s hand cracked across his face like a whip.

“WHAT WAS THAT?”

Dick’s mother rushed over, latching onto her husband’s arm before he could strike again. “Please, John! There’s only so much that the clown makeup can cover! I won’t have him performing with a swollen face again!”

Dick scoffed, spitting just a bit of blood on his costume, which only pissed off his father more. John caught him by the throat and held him firmly in place. “If you EVER upstage us again—”

“Richard, my boy!”

Haly came around and John dropped his son, turning away to return to his trailer with Mary.

“That was spectacular! First that incredible save by an audience member—”

“—a friend, actually. Completely staged. Quinn was in on it," Dick lied through his teeth, not wanting to concern Haly.

“Oh ho? Well, maybe next time let someone else be in on it too. Had me worried there. But that boy was quite the showman himself. And limber too. Those reflexes gave me chills. If he’s ever looking for a little side-scratch…”

“He’s not that kind of guy, sir,” Dick said quickly, feeling somewhat uncomfortable at the suggestion. Jason was someone important to Dick. Even if he couldn’t piece together what had drawn him to the guy, he found himself somewhat protective of what they had.

So, more than anything, he didn’t want Jason to know what he really was.

Haly shrugged as if what he’d offered was completely normal. “Too bad. Well, we still have work to do tonight. Better get out of makeup, boy. I’ll see what I can do to calm down your old man.”

Dick didn’t make it two steps out of the tent before Quinn had him by the arm and was dragging him off towards the animals’ tent. “Quinn, we don’t have time for this.”

“It’s important! Just shut up and come on!”

He let her drag him through the animal pens until they reached the cages for the hyenas. Most circuses stopped collecting exotic animals after lions, but Quinn had happened across a couple of hyenas when the gang went after a particularly wealthy target and she refused to leave them behind. It had been quite the argument among the rest of the gang, but in the end, she was able to convince Haly that they’d be a great addition to the act.

“Look at what the bitch did to Budsie!” she whined as she knelt by the hyenas’ cage and reached her hand in. One of the duo bounded over happily, licking her hand and yipping playfully while the other limped over, keeping weight off of its front left paw. “My poor baby. Momma brought you guys a present.” She slipped a few bones from the drumsticks that had been thrown at Pantalone earlier that she managed to save when she cleaned out the ring. The hyenas accepted them graciously and let her continue to scratch their ears and coo at them. “I hate putting them through this.”

Dick didn’t bother to get too close to the cage. Animals didn’t seem to like him much, which broke Quinn’s heart. She was much fonder of the animals than she was the rest of the circus troupe.

Unlike Dick, who had the misfortune of being born into the Circus life, Quinn was a runaway of sorts. Her father had run up a debt with the gang and couldn’t pay up. Dick could still remember the day that he first saw her. The strong man at the time was carrying the waif of a girl over his shoulder. Dick was ten at the time and had just recently been initiated into the other side of Haly’s business. Knowing what he did, he felt sorry for the girl, figuring that she was going to suffer.

Instead, the girl dug her teeth into the strong man’s neck and ripped off a chunk of skin as he threw her. She spat out the bloody mass and threatened to ‘bite his dick off next’ if he touched her again. Rather than punish her, Haly decided he liked her spirit and put Dick in charge of ‘taming her’.

That was how he learned that people could be tamed just like animals could. Perhaps it was what had truly solidified his inability to feel empathy. He treated Quinn like she was a wild dog. The amount of caution that he used with her put her at ease until she sought the comfort of his kindness. Not long after, she finally began performing with the rest of the troupe as Pierrot the pretty clown. And after that she joined the gang in their after-hours activities.

“Quinn, I’m sorry Tanya hurt Bud’s paw. But we don’t have time for this.”

“Dick…why do you put up with this place?”

“I’m so fond of the circus. My parents are here. It’s all I’ve ever known. What answer are you fishing for? I’m full of them.”

Quinn stood up and took a packet of wet wipes out of her costume’s pocket, snagging one before tossing the pack to Dick. “You always talk like that. Don’t you ever want something more?”

“You can’t psycho-analyze me, Quinn.” Dick knocked on his head much like he would if they were still in character. “This is an iron fortress.”

She flipped him off but continued to take off her face. “There’s no need for that, my little puddin-pop. I know all there is to know about Richard Grayson.”

“Do you now? Do you know my middle name then?”

“Ha. Like those Nazi parents of yours would even bother.”

Dick scoffed. She wasn’t wrong, after all. His parents’ love story wasn’t really one for the ages; boy trapeze artist meets girl trapeze artist. He admires her beauty and grace and they start a double act. She gets pregnant. He decides that ruins her beauty and destroys the balance that he worked so hard to cultivate. Then she gives birth to a boy. If the boy is anything less than perfection personified, his father reprimands him and his mother turns a blind eye, determined to remain in his favor.

“Lucky guess,” Dick muttered as he wiped the makeup off his face.

“So, what was the deal with the guy who jumped in tonight?” Quinn brought up. “He a friend of yours?”

“Yeah. You could say that.”

Quinn cartwheeled over to close the distance between the two of them and got her face cartoonishly close to his in order to press the subject further. “Well well. It’s not often that my little puddin-pop smiles like that. What’d this guy do to earn that?”

Dick hadn’t even realized that he was smiling. Did he smile often when thinking about Jason? Was that normal? He’d have to look into that. Explore that more, but for now, they had more important things to worry about.

It took a while, but Quinn eventually agreed to hurry up and get ready. They both returned to their respective trailers. Dick was at least relieved to find that his parents were already out of theirs—he didn’t want to deal with his father’s wrath over doing nothing more than putting on a good show.

Being Pantalone required a loose fitting, colorful costume with caked on face paint. For what came next, he needed something much subtler. Black running pants, black under-armor, black gloves, black boots, and a switch blade he kept tucked in his boot just in case. His face didn’t matter. After all, the signature of the Red Hood Gang was a red ski mask.

Haly had been secretly running the Red Hood Gang since first setting up a permanent show in Gotham City. Some of the older members had explained to Dick that Haly had seen the opportunity back before he started the circus troupe and sought out people with particular skills that could help with the darker line of business.

“Took you lot long enough,” Haly spat when Quinn and Dick finally joined the rest of them in the main tent. Everyone was dressed the same, ready to go. Haly handed out a few guns, skipping over Dick and Quinn without sparing them a passing glance. “I’ve got most of the group running the usual tonight. John, you and your boy are to rough up one Mister Distal. Remind him who he owes money to and give him a little taste of how bad it can be if he doesn’t pay up.”

“I’ll go with them,” Quinn stated more than offered.

“That’s not necessary.”

“You always get annoyed when I get sidetracked doing the usual. Mr. Grayson and Dick will keep me in line, sir,” she explained. Dick understood that she was inserting herself unnecessarily between him and his father. It wasn’t like her presence would stop John. It was sweet, but futile.

“Very well then. Everyone, be back here before dawn.”

They split up after that. John had the information that he needed to locate Distal. It was all Dick and Quinn could do to keep up with him and not get left behind.

Once they were a ways away from the outskirts of Gotham, John turned on Dick and pistol whipped him across the face. Quinn hastily stood between them with her arms out protectively, but Dick brusquely pushed her aside and glared at his father. John was, as he saw himself, the epitome of perfection; toned body, squared jaw, not a stray hair out of place. Dick had grown into his height over time, but he was always pretty thin. It couldn’t really be helped; he got last pick at the scraps that Haly had to offer most of the time because John wouldn’t allow him to eat sooner. But he was as tall as his father now. He could take the hits. Quinn hadn’t grown much over the years. Dick would never let her get hurt by his father if he could help it.

“Tell your little cock-sleeve that you can fight your own battles, boy.”

Quinn stifled a growl as Dick kept her behind him. “Didn’t know we were fighting, Pops.”

SMACK!

Dick had to lift his ski mask to spit out a tooth and a mouthful of blood after that hit. “Please sir, may I have another?” he said mockingly, knowing full well that his father hated when he got ‘lippy’.

SMACK!

“Stop! Please!” Quinn tried to push John and he caught her wrist. Dick reacted almost instantly, catching his father’s wrist and holding it tight enough to get the threat across. John scoffed and released Quinn.

“You’re pathetic. You’ll never be as great as me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of stepping in your spotlight,” Dick said before letting his father go and pulling his mask back down. “Just thought the show could use a little spice. The crowd was a little wound up after one of their own stepped in to help out Pierrot.”

John turned and continued to lead them. Quinn latched onto Dick’s arm, whimpering quietly against him. He wished she hadn’t tried to tag along. Maybe she had cut John’s beating short, but it was more annoying to have to protect someone else.

As they came upon Crime Alley—truly the most disgusting place in an otherwise shitty city—Dick spotted Jason at the end of the way, crumpled up on the ground by a trash bin. He looked wrecked, the red paint still on his face but smeared. It took every bit of strength that Dick had not to run over to him and assess the damage.

But that would mean worse for everyone.

“This is the place. Cock-sleeve, pick the lock. You, snatch up any valuables you can find. I’ll take care of Distal.”

Quinn huffed, still clearly annoyed by the nickname, but proceeded to take out her tools and work the lock. Dick kept his eyes trained on Jason in the distance. Some man approached him, towering over his withdrawn form, and raked a hand through his hair. Dick gritted his teeth and retrieved the knife from his boot. While his father was preoccupied, he gave it a good throw and it nailed the man in the neck. Jason didn’t even stir as the man collapsed in front of him. He just let his head drop. For now, that had to be enough.

Quinn got through the lock not a moment too soon—John had been getting antsy and looked ready to kick the door right off its hinges. Inside was a dingy little place. A woman could be heard sobbing upstairs. Downstairs, kicked back on the couch, was a shaggy man with bloody knuckles. “The fuck?”

John had his gun trained on the guy and began spewing threats, reminding the man just how much he owed the Red Hood Gang. Meanwhile Dick went about trashing the place and gathering what few scraps looked like they might fetch a couple of bucks at a pawn shop. There really wasn’t much. He replaced his boot knife with a pocketknife he found hidden in a junk drawer. Eventually he made his way upstairs. He found the room where the woman was sobbing. She barely reacted to his presence, hiding her messed up face as well as she could.

“Jewelry,” Dick said coldly. “Don’t waste my time.”

The woman nodded, her golden hair falling over her face as she scurried over to a dresser and picked up a box. Dick snatched it from her and opened it to check. There was nothing of value in there. Barely even passable costume pieces. He let out a frustrated growl, knowing that if he didn’t find much then John would have yet another reason to be pissed. He began digging through the dresser drawers, ignoring the woman’s pleas from behind him. Based on the clothes that she had tucked away, Dick could guess her line of work. He made a mental note to thoroughly wash his hands later.

Hidden beneath her socks was a small stack of bills. He took the money clip and counted out $500. That would at least shut John up. He pocketed $100 for himself, put the rest in the jewelry box, and left the woman to wallow in self-pity. Once he got downstairs he found Quinn guarding the door as John proceeded to teach Distal quite the painful lesson.

“You’ve got ‘til the end of the month, Distal. No more excuses. You’d better hope you can pay up or it’ll be more than just that bitch you’ve got crying. You hear me?”

The man nodded as well as he could, and John gave him one last firm kick before leading Dick and Quinn out. They walked down the alley towards Jason. It was all Dick could do to quietly pray that Quinn wouldn’t recognize him. He kept himself on the side of her where she’d see her once-rescuer, doing all he could to keep him hidden. She seemed keener on looking away from the now dead man in front of Jason. Dick noticed that his switchblade had been removed and was a bit comforted to know that Jason had something to defend himself with.

Not two steps out of Crime Alley, John elbowed Dick in the ribs and grabbed the jewelry box off him. “Huh. Figures he can only afford some two-bit hooker with cheap ass jewelry.” He took the stack of cash and tucked it into his own pocket. “Tell Haly a word about this and I’ll make sure you two never speak again. Got it?”

Quinn didn’t even bother to acknowledge. Dick just grunted, knowing that Haly would be disappointed in their take and wouldn’t bother to save him or Quinn food for a few nights before getting over it. At least with the spare $100 he’d pocketed he could grab something after school. It was just a bigger pain to have to squirrel away things for the girl who was more likely to feed her hyenas than herself.

After that day, Dick found himself hanging out with Jason more openly. The barrier between them that was Bruce Wayne was no longer an issue, which was nice. Dick was fascinated with Bruce, after all. He could still recall the first time he ever saw Bruce; the rich boy was in the audience at one of the shows and he was the first person to ever throw something at Pantalone. The action had been so abrupt that Dick didn’t know what to do, but the crowd all laughed and cheered. As someone who had never laughed, it felt…good. It was nice to know that being the bad guy could get such a reaction from the crowd. And as it became tradition, he took pride in his ability to make the crowd laugh at his suffering.

That, of course, made Bruce feel very unapproachable to Dick. Upon his acceptance to Gotham Academy—something he had to work hard for—he had the opportunity to finally meet Bruce Wayne. Though it was a K-12 school, he only got his acceptance in tenth grade and actually tested beyond his grade level, winding up in eleventh grade for his first year at the academy. Bruce was in tenth grade, so he’d created a new barrier without meaning to, but figured it was for the best.

Then he stumbled across someone far more interesting.

“Get offa me!”

Dick wasn’t two blocks from Gotham Academy campus when he heard the familiar cry. He ditched the food he’d grabbed and sprinted towards the voice. What he found made him feel something he’d never felt before.

Jason was being held down by three guys while a fourth sat straddling his torso, hand sliding up under his uniform shirt.

“C’mon, kid. You know how this goes. You want to get paid, right? We’ll pay you good if you let us. You always say you won’t go further, but I’m betting you never have, right? I’ll pay you double if you let me pop that cherry.”

“No! Get off! Fuck you!”

“No, kid. I plan to fuck you.”

Dick picked up a cast-away tire iron from behind a garbage bin and felt the weight of it in his hand. It felt so natural as he gave it a good swing and nailed the man sitting on Jason upside the head, throwing him off.

The other men released Jason in a panic and he proceeded to catch one of them by their ankle, pull himself on top of them, and begin punching the life out of them.

“You fuckers! Don’t ever touch me! I’m not like my mother! You hear me?”

Watching Jason exact his immediate revenge made Dick’s chest swell with some sort of feeling. That smile Quinn had pointed out crept onto his face again and he held a hand over his mouth to hide it, as if keeping it for himself would make it more sacred. He was so enamored with Jason’s rage that he wasn’t paying attention when one of the other men tried to snatch the tire iron from him. He tried to keep his hold only to take an elbow to the nose. How was it that one man was unconscious, one was being beaten senseless, one had run away, and this one asshole had stuck around? Didn’t he recognize the danger?

Jason abandoned his victim in favor of pulling the remaining guy into a headlock and pressing a familiar switchblade to his Adam’s apple. “Piss off, asshole. Tell Liam I’m done with this shit. Next time I’ll really fuck you up.”

He let go of the guy and kicked him in the small of the back before tucking the knife into his pants pocket and retrieving his castaway school tie.

“Some people, am I right?” Dick joked as he pressed his sleeve to his bloody nose. “Just can’t take no for an—”

“Don’t,” Jason said quickly. “Just…don’t. This didn’t happen. You didn’t see anything.”

Dick scoffed. “I know exactly what I saw. It’s okay. I’m glad I heard you or—”

“No. Don’t say anything. You didn’t see anything. I…Thanks but…Just forget it.”

The smile was gone now. “You were in trouble.”

“I’m in trouble a lot.” Jason knelt by the guy Dick had taken out with the tire iron and searched him until he came across a wallet. He stripped it of its cash and cards before tucking it back in the guy’s shirt and moving on to the guy he’d punched out to do the same. “Can’t always expect a good Samaritan like you to swoop in and save me.”

Dick poked at the first guy with the tire iron. “Well, why not get rid of the problem, then? You’ve got a knife. You know where to slice.”

Jason smirked. “Come on. We’re just kids. We shouldn’t even have to consider killing people.”

Dick cocked his head slightly. “You’re just a kid and they shouldn’t even have considered—”

“Like I said, forget about it. Nothing happened. I’m fine.”

Dick scowled, but left it at that, watching Jason’s back as he hurried off.

The next day, Bruce spotted them in the hall and immediately shot them a worried look. “What the hell happened to you guys?” he asked, no doubt referring to Jason’s black eye and cut lip and Dick’s broken nose.

Jason hesitated just a moment too long, giving Dick the opportunity to speak up. Maybe if the rich boy knew about it, after all, he’d use his money or something to help prevent it.

“Found some jerk trying to curb stomp our little Jaybird yesterday. I couldn’t let Jay have all the fun, so I put my head on the curb next to his to see what it would feel like,” he joked, knowing full well that it would upset Jason.

“That’s not what happened, freak,” Jason protested, his face reddening from both shame and anger. “Don’t tell him shit like that.”

Dick had to keep pushing the envelope. Jason needed to open up. He needed to ask for help. “I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t always so private.

But then Bruce took Jason’s side. “Just drop it, Dick.” Dick stared at him incredulously. Giving up so quickly? He could help Jason! “If he doesn’t want to talk about it, nobody should force him.”

Jason looked relieved too, frustrating Dick further.

“You’re really going to carry the burden of the world on your shoulders alone, aren’t you, Jaybird?” He pushed Jason’s shoulder, trying to get his point across. “Just say the word and maybe next time there will be more than just me to help you out.”

“I don’t need help,” Jason muttered.

Dick could hardly believe what he did next. It was so harsh. Violating. But maybe it would open Bruce’s eyes. He grabbed the middle of Jason’s uniform shirt and forced it open, tearing out a few buttons in the process. What he saw was even worse than what he had feared. He was just expecting a few bruises and some scars. What he saw was dark spots around his clavicle. Over his nipples. Down his abdomen…

Before he could even think to apologize, Jason had him on his tiptoes by grabbing his collar, then he began to punch him like he’d punched the attacker the day before. Blow after blow and all Dick could think about was how much he wished he’d killed the men who’d hurt Jason.

Every hit felt harder than before. This was so much worse than when John hit him. It was like his chest was too tight. He just wanted to close his eyes and let it happen. Let Jason do whatever he wanted to punish him. He didn’t even hear when the gym coach pulled Jason away. Dick stumbled, back hitting the lockers, and watched as Jason used his bloodied hands to pinch his uniform shirt closed. Bloody…Dick could taste the blood. It was his blood.

“I’m surprised you haven’t messed up like this already, Todd,” the coach spat. Dick felt indignant. He wanted to slap the man and force him to see what had really been done to Jason, but when he tried to speak he felt blood and bile pool up and spill out of his mouth. “You’re suspended for the rest of the week.”

“Sir, he didn’t—” At least Bruce was trying to stop it, but Jason was already hurrying to leave. “Wait!”

Dick wanted to go with them. To apologize to Jason. To make it up to him somehow. Usually his suffering made people laugh and cheer, but the look on Jason’s face as he’d laid into Dick wasn’t one of amusement. It was one of bitterness. He had been crying. Dick shouldn’t have done what he did. He only wanted to help.

“Young man, we need to get you to the nurse’s office immediately. Hell, we should probably get you to Gotham General. Tell me your parents’ phone number and I’ll—”

“Don’t…don’t bother.” Dick swallowed a mouthful of blood, the salty taste making his stomach churn. “They’d never pay for that. Just the nurse’s office…”

Dick was getting tired of having his nose reset, but if he let it stay crooked, his parents wouldn’t even look at him.

“Augh!”

The nurse kept smiling at him after his nose was corrected. “You’re pretty brave, aren’t you?”

Dick took the washcloth from her and carefully wiped his bloody face clean. “How so?”

“That Todd boy is a ruffian. Everyone who gets close to him winds up beat up. And he never comes to me for his own injuries, you know? That’s because he doesn’t want the school to know that he picks fights. I remember Bruce Wayne coming to us once with a bruise. We’ve all been so worried about him hanging around that guttersnipe.”

Dick got off of the cot and tossed the bloody towel into her lap. “Ever consider that maybe I deserved what he gave me?”

“Ew. Uhh, nobody deserves that.”

Dick felt the smile return. Even stranger, some rumbling force made him utter a sound that he wasn’t used to. A slight…chuckle?

“You…you really believe that, don’t you?” Dick asked, doing what he could to stifle his laughter. “You’re all so blind.” He walked out of the nurse’s office and left the academy early for the day, figuring no one would fault him for it. He had a lot to do before the night’s show anyways.

“Holy hell, what happened to you?” Quinn asked the moment the show was over and they were together behind the curtains. “Oughtta call you Patches instead of Pantalone the way your face is lookin’.” She took a towelette and gently began rubbing his face paint off in order to reveal the bruises hidden underneath. Aww, Puddin’, this looks painful.”

“I earned it,” he told her numbly. He slipped a couple whole turkey legs out of his costume sleeve and she squeaked happily.

“Did you really find these?”

“Caught them before they even touched the dirt,” he told her. She took them graciously, no doubt excited to give the treats to her babies. “Go give them my love. You know what tonight is.”

Quinn sighed and stared at the turkey legs worriedly. “End of the month. You think that Distal guy’s gonna pay up?”

“You prepared to handle what happens if he doesn’t?” Dick asked, knowing full well that her father had been executed over a debt. Though she wasn’t close to him, she had still taken it pretty hard.

“Long as I’m not the one pullin’ the trigger,” she muttered. “I’ll tell Bud and Lou that you send your regards. You know, they do like you. You don’t have to be so scared of them.”

“Who said I was scared?” Dick took the towelette and kept working off his face. “Maybe they should be scared of me.”

She scoffed. “You’d never do anything to hurt my babies.”

They met back at the tent after preparations were complete. Haly told John just what Dick was expecting. They were to go back to Distal’s place and collect. Haly wasn’t completely unfeeling, though. He offered Quinn an out. But she took Dick’s hand in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay, sir. I can handle it.”

Dick wished she’d taken the out.

The three of them returned to Crime Alley mostly in silence. John had already done his damage, beating Dick in less visible places out of sheer rage over his ‘disfigured face’. The message was clear. If Dick came home like that again, John would make sure that everything hurt.

As they reached the alley, they could hear shouting. Dick gave the place a cursory glance, checking to see if Jason was there again and relieved that he wasn’t. Hopefully he’d take at least some lesson from the day.

They got closer to Distal’s door to find that it was cracked open slightly and the shouting was coming from inside.

“WHO GAVE YOU THIS? GODDAMNIT, YOU WILL TELL ME!”

SLAP!

“HOW DID HE FIND YOU? WHY DID HE DO THIS? WHY DIDN’T HE DO MORE?”

SLAP!

Dick cringed at the sound of a hand against someone’s face. He felt a little bad for whoever was on the receiving end of Distal’s whore’s fury. John didn’t care, though, and just kicked the door open. The woman screamed and hid behind a young man.

No.

“OH GOD, JASON, DON’T LET THEM HURT ME!”

Jason stood protectively between the woman and John and Dick’s heart missed a beat as his father leveled his gun with Jason’s head.

“Wait!”

“Shut up, boy. Now. Where’s Mr. Distal?”

“Not my fucking problem,” Jason spat. He held out his hand, offering a single diamond cufflink with a ‘W’ on it. “This should cover his debt. Now leave us alone.”

John smirked. “You’re cute kid. You think a little knick knack’s going to make up for the smack your old man owes?”

“He’s not my old man.” Jason spat. “Those are real diamonds. It should cover his ass and then some.”

John snatched up the cufflink greedily and checked it over. “This belong to a Wayne? How’d a brat like you get his hands on it?”

“Does it matter? Just take it and leave us alone.”

John pocketed the cufflink and pointed the gun again. “Sorry kid. Valiant of you to try and cover that scumbag’s debt, but he needs to be taught a lesson. Something tells me you’re not that important to him, so do me a favor and step aside so I can put one in that bitch’s head.”

Jason kept the woman behind himself. “You’re not going to touch my mother.”

John shrugged. “Guess not. Hate to punish a good deed, but if you’re this stubborn, you’ll only be a problem anyways.”

Dick stared at his father in disbelief. To think that he would actually kill a kid for such a flimsy reason. How could Dick allow that? How could he just sit back and watch? What would happen if he tried to intervene? Who would he really be helping.

“Dad, wait—”

John snarled and pistol-whipped Dick. “Would you shut the fuck up already? Honestly, you’re more trouble than you’re worth!”

Quinn took the opportunity to try to snag the gun from John, throwing caution to the wind. “I’m done just letting this shit happen!” she screamed. “I won’t stand for it anymore!”

Jason, ever the little hero, tried to fight John off as well while Dick still felt frozen in place. If he were to oppose his father…where would he go? What would he do? He didn’t have a backup plan. He didn’t have anywhere to hide that the Red Hood Gang wouldn’t be able to find him. What was he supposed to do?

BANG!

The gunshot made the woman scream and made Jason stumble backwards in shock. Dick looked him over. No blood. He was okay. He was—

Quinn collapsed.

“Fuck! Little cunt got blood on my nice shoes!”

Dick finally moved.

He broke his father’s wrist in one swift motion, took the gun, and pointed it at him shakily. “You…you…”

“You little son of a bitch! If there’s any lasting damage, I’ll put a bullet in you next!”

“Get out,” Dick growled.

John scoffed but went out into the night.

Jason moved to check on the girl in a red ski mask on the floor and Dick pointed the gun at him. “Don’t touch her.”

Jason swallowed hard and took a step back. The hysterical woman pulled him into her arms in a pathetic form of comfort. Dick just clicked the gun’s safety on and hoisted Quinn’s limp body into his arms.

It was like she weighed nothing.

Just a human doll.

“Heh…”

Her pale blue eyes were wide open, like she was surprised. A dark spot was blossoming from her chest. She wasn’t quite dead. Her body had gone into shock. It was only a matter of time before it shut down completely.

“Heheh…”

Dick carried her past the threshold of the shitty house and into the alleyway. It was raining now. He carried her over to where Jason had been that one night before falling to his knees. She was gone. He peeled the ski mask off over her head. A blood tinged fluid dripped from the corner of her mouth.

Dick’s body shook with laughter.

“Why?” he whispered. “You didn’t deserve it…”

Laughing through the ski mask was hard. It felt like his lungs weren’t getting in enough air as he gulped in scattered breaths of staleness. He couldn’t stop laughing. It was like a sick joke. Quinn had finally gained the courage to break free from the place that Dick had brought her to, and his father shot her by accident.

“You’re so stupid.” He continued to laugh until his lungs hurt. Until his eyes burned from the tears. The rain hadn’t stopped. It soaked him to the bone. The sun was threatening to peek over the horizon, so he lifted her back up and carried her the whole way back to the circus.

Haly wasn’t unfeeling. He told Dick to take some time to recuperate from his loss. He had the Gang bury Quinn on Circus grounds so that she’d always be with them. With the tragedy so fresh, he didn’t even think to retrieve the gun from Dick.

Dick was back at school the next day, but everything felt numb. Jason was still suspended. After what he’d found, he could only hope that Jason was safe. Not that it mattered. He couldn’t protect anybody, after all.

He tried feeding Bud and Lou after shows. The first time he tried, Bud had bitten him and Lou growled at him and stayed at the far end of their cage. Of course Quinn had been wrong about them liking him. She was so idealistic. It’s a miracle she didn’t get herself killed sooner.

Attending school felt like an empty task, but a small part of him wanted to see Jason again. Wanted to confront him. To…apologize? Tell him the truth? Would it even matter?

On the fourth day Bud licked his hand and Lou only yipped from afar.

After a week had passed, Dick braced himself for Jason’s reaction to seeing him again. He’d never taken his mask off when they raided his house, so at least he wouldn’t recognize him from that but…No, it didn’t matter. He just had to see him.

But Jason never showed.

Twelve days and Bud started to seem excited to see Dick. It was harder to get scraps when he didn’t perform and, without Pierrot, he wasn’t sure what his act would bring when his grace period was over. It was all he could do to sneak food from the carts that sold snacks and bring them for the hyenas to enjoy.

Two weeks passed with no sign of Jason.

While feeding the hyenas one night, Dick heard Haly and John talking. He hid behind the elephant’s cage and listened.

“Don’t worry about Liam. He’s already made a handsome down payment and has reassured me that he has a means of making up the rest of his debt within the week. We should push up the amount just to wring him for all he’s worth,” Haly suggested.

“It’s weird, though. It’s not like that whore he kept around would fetch more than a couple bucks. Where’s he getting this dough from?”

“Who cares? Whatever pays the bills. Ah! Let’s hang the death of one of our own over his head! That’ll cost him a pretty penny!”

The next day, Bruce finally approached Dick at school, desperate to know where his friend had gone. As if Dick hadn’t already begun to fear the worst.

When Dick didn’t have much to say, the spoiled rich kid flipped on him. “This is all your fault! You couldn’t just leave him alone?”

Dick couldn’t help but smile. It was funny how Bruce truly believed that ignoring the problem was better than confronting it. “You’re just a spoiled rich boy,” Dick said in a growl. “What would you know about anything? Those of us bottom feeders have to eat too, you know.”

Bruce winced, but kept pushing. “It’s been two weeks! He could be hurt or…or…”

Dick scoffed. “Or what? If there was any real danger, I’m sure our uncorrupt academy’s faculty would address it. Right? There’s no way they’d let some street rat slip through the cracks.” He rolled his eyes at the thought. The school had once been a beacon of hope. Now? Now it was just another joke. Just another show of power in Gotham.

“You’re a piece of work. What’s your deal? Why were you so obsessed with him?”

Dick’s smiled deepened just a little more. “I think I heard you say it once. He’s the ‘family I choose,’ or something like that. It’s not like he gets a say in the matter.”

Bruce gave Dick one last disgusted look before moving on.

That night Lou finally accepted scraps from him.

Weeks went by. Dick had gotten into the habit of feeding not only Bud and Lou, but the elephant and the lions as well. Zitka was so horribly mistreated, after all. She deserved something for her troubles. And the lions were much better performers than their tamer, after all. Dick found himself idly wondering what would happen to the animals if the circus were ever to go out of business. Would Haly sell them? Would they be set free? It’s not like they could just roam about the wilds of Cobblepot Park.

One full month had passed before Dick saw Jason on campus again. In spite of himself, he was elated to finally see his friend. He ditched his final period just to wait outside of Jason’s classroom and talk to him. Jason was the first one out, and he pushed right past Dick without looking at him. Dick followed after him, desperate to at least apologize for getting him suspended. They could reconnect. Maybe he’d tell Jason everything.

A man was waiting for Jason just outside the Academy’s gates. Jason went right to him with his head down the whole time. Dick stopped when the man touched Jason’s chin, forcing him to look up. The man smiled and licked his lips before opening his car door and ushering Jason inside. Dick watched Jason through the window as the car pulled away. He looked…hollow…

That night Bud and Lou had both been hurt by the tamer. Bud had lost an eye and Lou had a deep gash in his hind leg. Dick decided he’d had enough. He checked the gun he’d kept hidden away before joining the rest of the Gang after the show. Haly was surprised to see him, but graciously accepted the help. Dick gave the term that he wanted to work alone that night. Haly was happy to oblige.

So that night, Dick followed the tamer, who had partnered up with the strong man, making her a challenging target. He thought about how happy Quinn would be to know that her babies wouldn’t get hurt anymore and steeled his nerves. When they were least expecting it, Dick shot the strong man right in the head, dropping him like the goliath that he was. The tamer screamed and cried, begging for mercy, but Dick had no mercy to offer.

Two dead in the streets of Gotham, and no one around even blinked.

It was funny just how easy it had been.

This was the answer, Dick realized. This was what Quinn wanted. This was the freedom she had been seeking.

He hunted down as many members of the Red Hood Gang as he could that night before returning to the circus. He’d accumulated the weapons that each member of the Gang had on them at the time, developing a hefty arsenal. It’d be at least a night before the word of the dead gangsters would get out and Haly would be nervous. Dick took the opportunity to prepare. He made sure the guns he’d stolen were loaded. He sharpened his pocket knife. And when his parents finally returned to their trailer that night, he was ready. It was time to be liberated.

The next day, Dick caught Jason when he was dropped off at the gates of the Academy. He pulled Jason around to the side building, determined to share his revelation with his friend. When he finally stopped and Jason settled with his back against the wall of the building, his stomach dropped.

Jason looked like a shell of his former self. His cheek bones protruded from his face. His hair had grown out and there was a prominent dusting of gray that hadn’t been there before. Kiss marks crept into view on his neck and his tie was loosely tied, carelessly letting them show. Dick gently touched a hand to the side of Jason’s face as his friend shook. To his surprise, much like Lou did when he was hurt, Jason leaned into Dick’s touch, grateful for the comfort.

“What did he do to you?”

Jason’s eyes snapped up. “H-he?”

Dick sighed. “Who is Distal?”

Jason winced as if the name alone was enough to draw pain. “I…I have to…protect my mother…”

“She would have let you die.”

“I…know…”

“Jay, she’s not worth it. Please. Neither of them are worth it. Let me help you.”

Jason Todd, the boy who would spit out blood and walk right into his next class like nothing had happened, started to cry and…

…it was beautiful.

It was so raw.

Dick stroked his thumb over Jason’s cheek, wiping away a tear as it fell. “I was there,” Dick confessed. “I…I was one of the Red Hoods.”

Jason nodded. “I…I think I knew that…I’m…I’m sorry about her…”

Dick sighed. “What happened? Where have you been?”

Jason fought back sobs. “I’m…I’m not…I’m not a Todd…”

“What does that mean? Please, Jay. I just want to help. I can protect you. I can fix this. I just need to know what—”

“I’m beyond help,” he breathed. “I’m…I’m a Wayne…”

Dick’s eyes widened. “What?”

Jason proceeded to explain what had happened. How his mother had tried for years to extort Thomas Wayne for money and failed. How Thomas had apparently taken pity on him and given him the Wayne Foundation Scholarship for the academy. How a seemingly simple gift from Bruce had blown up in his face. And how Distal had used the knowledge of Jason’s true parentage to his advantage.

“Most people would pay good money to have their way with a Wayne,” Jason said as his shoulders shook.

Dick couldn’t help what he did next. He couldn’t explain it either. He just leaned forward, pressed his lips to Jason’s, and stole a kiss. The kiss may have meant nothing. It may have meant everything. Jason didn’t even bother to pull away. He just let it happen. Let Dick’s tongue intrude past his lips and take what it wanted. It was torture to know that other men had done that to Jason. It was torture to know that anyone had done anything to Jason against his will.

Dick took the kiss as a quiet promise. He was going to fix everything. When he pulled back, Jason seemed to be done shaking. His teal green eyes were fixed on Dick, waiting to hear what else he wanted from him.

“Tonight…come to the circus,” Dick said. “Come see the show. It’ll be worth it. Don’t even worry about buying a ticket. Just go. Get the best seat in the house. I promise that tonight, I’ll make you smile.”

Jason shook his head. “I…I don’t think I—”

“Don’t go with anyone. Don’t go home. Just…promise me you’ll come.”

Jason seemed reluctant. “If I don’t…earn…I’ll—”

“Just one night. That’s all I need.”

Jason finally nodded, then ran off. Dick closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

This show would have to be his magnum opus. There was so much he still had to prepare.

He would have to go home. No time for school today.

As he turned around the corner he ran right into Bruce.

“Oh, you saw that?” he noted, a brilliant idea forming in his head. Maybe the Waynes were to blame for most of Jason’s hurting, but Dick didn’t hold that to Bruce. Bruce was innocent. He believed naively in justice and good triumphing over the wicked. He was perfect. “Look, Jay’s going to the circus tonight. If you have any questions, we’ll answer them after the show. I’ll even make sure that he sticks around long enough for the two of you to talk, okay?”

Bruce’s jaw clenched and he nodded. That was enough.

Dick’s first stop was a pay phone in the subway. He looked up the Wayne Enterprises number in the phone book and called, demanding to be connected to Thomas Wayne’s office. He was connected, but straight to voicemail. That was okay for a start. He began to leave a threatening message, saying that he knew about Thomas’ affair with Mrs. Todd. How he knew all about his bastard son and had the DNA tests to prove it. Then he went on about his intentions to leak the information to the media unless—

That’s when someone picked up the phone.

“Who is this?”

Dick was thrilled to know that someone had taken the bait.

“Jason Todd deserves better. I’m going to save him from your filthy legacy. I’ll make your affairs public. I’ll ruin you.”

“What do you want?”

“Crime Alley. You and your wife. Be there by noon, alone, or I’ll leak the information.”

“How do I know you’ll stay true to your word?”

“You don’t.” Dick hung up at that. He still had work to do.

He returned to his family’s trailer to retrieve the tamer’s whip, his pocket knife, and his father’s gun. He checked the closet and kicked his mother’s leg. She stirred, whimpering through the gag he’d secured over her mouth. His father tried to spit out insults and threats, but everything was muffled.

“Don’t worry. Tonight will be your best show yet. I promise. But I need some help first.” He cut the ropes on his mother’s wrists and she carefully removed her own gag, shaking fearfully as her son kept a gun leveled at her head. “If you’re good for me, it’ll all be okay,” he said in a sing-song tone. “You never hurt me, Mother. You don’t have to suffer like the others.”

Mary nodded and Dick cut the ropes around her ankles as well. She stood up shakily and he pressed the barrel of the gun to her cheek. “I need some extra hands to set this all up. Let’s go get Haly, shall we?”

Mary followed Dick warily, ignoring her husband’s venomous shouts. They went to Haly’s trailer and Dick boldly knocked on the door. “That you, John? Look, I’m getting worried about the gang. We’re missing more than half our muscle and—”

Haly poked his head out and Dick pressed his gun under the old man’s chin. “Don’t worry, sir. They got a better deal. But tonight’s show is going to be—” he sucked in an excited breath and gave his best smile “—well, just to die for.”

Mary and Haly were easy to manipulate when the power was in Dick’s hands. He led them to Crime Alley and broke into Distal’s place without a care in the world. The disgusting excuse for a man shouted obscenities upon the intrusion only to bow his head when Haly stepped in—the presumed leader of the Red Hoods.

“S-sir! I’ve paid my debt, please. I just—”

“Shut up.” Dick shot the man in the foot, making both his mother and Distal scream. Jason’s mother came running downstairs to see what the racket was. It was easy to knock her out before she could even scream.

Dick checked the watch on Distal’s wrist and scoffed. “Almost noon. Couldn’t have timed this better if I tried. Watch them,” he commanded. Mary and Haly didn’t even protest. Dick shut them both in the house and waited. Sure enough, a man and woman dressed to the nines even in long dark coats—as if those were any sort of disguise—walked down Crime Alley looking nervous.

“Thomas and Martha Wayne?”

They looked at Dick and Thomas’s face contorted with rage. “You…you’re a damned kid. If you think—”

“Do you know how much money your enemies will pay to fuck your son?”

Martha cried out, appalled at the suggestion. “Don’t hurt Bruce. Please. We’ll do anything.”

Dick let a laugh tear through his throat, splitting the quiet with its mirth. “Oh dear, I’d never dream of hurting that little brat.”

Thomas shuddered. “What have you done to my son?”

Dick had to stifle another roll of laughter. “Oh, now that he’s in trouble, he’s YOUR son? Cute. I’m sure that would just tickle him to hear.”

Martha looked at her husband in disgust. “You…you have another son?”

“Shut up. Like you’re any better than him, sitting up in your ivory tower.” Dick took out the tamer’s whip and flourished it, striking with shocking precision so that it broke the string of pearls around Martha’s neck. She yelped, ready to cry for help, but Dick snapped the whip again and this time it coiled around her neck, forcing her to remain silent.

“P-please! Don’t hurt her! I’ll do anything!”

“Perfect. I’m assuming you drove here?”

“N-no. I thought…I wanted to make sure that no one knew about—”

“Seriously? Fucking useless.” Dick turned around and stared at a cab. Inside, the cab driver was just sitting back, watching the whole situation. “Ha! That’ll work.” He shot out the window and then fired again, blowing the driver’s brains out. “Isn’t it just funny how little the cops seem to care in Gotham? Simply delightful!”

Dick tugged on the whip, forcing Martha to move with him as he knocked on the door to Distal’s house. Haly opened it just a crack. “Bring them both out and load them up in the trunk. Mr. Wayne, if you’d be so kind, we need to get back to the circus. I’ve got one hell of a show to put on tonight, and you’re going to be just as famous as the Flying Graysons!"

Preparations were tedious and what few remaining members of the circus that hadn’t been killed the night before kept trying to get in the way. Dick had anticipated a body count, but it was almost sad to know just how many people he could kill without consequence.

Or it would be, if it wasn’t so damned funny.

Before the show, while the crowd was trickling in, Dick opened the animals’ respective cages. Bud and Lou tried to follow him back into the tent. He crouched in front of them, casting the tamer’s whip aside. “You’re free now, guys,” he told them. “Quinn wanted you to have better lives. After tonight…I don’t know if I’ll be able to give you that.”

Bud whimpered and licked at a bit of blood that stained Dick’s cheek while Lou sat by patiently.

“Do me a favor and look out for Zitka and the others? I’ll do what I can to help you guys, but I don’t know what’s going to happen after this is over.”

Lou let out a laugh and nuzzled Dick’s extended hand before leading Bud off.

“Well. Showtime.”

Dick met up with Haly backstage. He was the last man standing and had just finished tying up Jason’s mother. “B-boy…I’ve done everything you asked. Please. I’ve always been good to you.”

“Sir, of course. I wouldn’t dream of hurting you. I need someone to be the Ringmaster, after all.”

Haly smiled nervously. “Oh, my boy. My sweet—”

Dick had his pocket knife in hand in an instant and plunged it into Haly’s neck. “Thanks for the help, sir.”

Dick quickly changed into a spare ringleader costume that Haly kept lying around—a blue and green tailcoat lined with red accents to match the colorful costumes of the Flying Graysons, the stars of the show. He found the pack of towelettes that Quinn used to use and cleaned off the last of Haly’s blood with a few before untying Jason’s mother. “I need you to follow a few cues for me,” he told her as he handed her a gun. “What's your name?"

The woman shuddered and told him, "Sh-Sheila...Todd."

Dick eased his voice back into the gentler tone that had reassured his own mother. "Sheila. Be a good girl, and I’ll give you the opportunity of a lifetime: the chance to make Thomas Wayne suffer for what he’s done.”

The woman smiled and took the gun.

Everything was perfect. Right on cue, his parents fell to their deaths. Right on cue, the lights flipped on the top of the trapeze posts. Right on cue, a light fell on Jason in the audience. The crowd, more confused than afraid, continued to watch as things played out.

When Jason’s mother finally took her place in the ring, Dick knew he’d accomplished what he set out to do. He gave her an ultimatum: punish the man who had ruined her life, or punish the man she blamed for it all. It wasn’t even remotely surprising when she tried to shoot the Waynes.

CLICK!

Apparently it was surprising to her, though, to find that the gun he’d given her wasn’t loaded.

“Unbelievable. Even in your final opportunity, you fail to make up for what you’ve done.” He claimed her life with a single shot.

“Mom!”

Unable to leave well enough alone, Jason stepped into the ring, slowly creeping towards his now-dead mother.

Watching the woman get gunned down, the crowd was finally grasping the severity of the situation and doing its best to hightail it out of there. It was all so spectacular to watch. Dick reveled in their screams, finally understanding the joy that was taken in tormenting him as Pantalone.

But tonight he wasn’t Pantalone.

He’d thought about claiming Quinn’s name, keeping her alive through it, but a Pierrot was a sad clown and, after all this, Dick just couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

“Alfred!” Dick looked over at Martha Wayne as she cried out. “Bruce!”

Dick followed her line of sight to find Bruce and who he assumed was the family butler, trying desperately to swim through the crowd as they pushed in the opposite direction. He scoffed. “It’s kind of funny, hearing you call for your child at a time like this. To think, Sheila couldn’t even spare her son a second thought. She just wanted to make sure that her son’s father finally suffered for abandoning them.”

“Stop!” Dick looked down at Jason, who had finally left his dead mother in favor of looking up at Dick. “You’ve done enough! Just stop!”

Dick had to make a show of things. It all had to be perfect. He swung from the trapeze swing before dropping himself right onto the platform where he was keeping Distal. The pathetic man tried to lunge at Dick, but he was so thoroughly tied up that his attempts were pathetic. Once he even managed to throw his weight far enough to offset his own balance. Dick simply couldn’t allow the man to fall too soon. That would ruin the perfection that his father had taught him to strive for. So he caught the man before he could fall.

“Your call, friend,” he shouted down to Jason. “Just say the word and I’ll pull him back up.”

Just as he had suspected, Jason couldn’t bring himself to rescue the man who had caused him so much suffering. Maybe if Dick had asked for the word to kill him, Jason might have kept his mouth shut and prevented Distal’s death. But this way, Jason’s silence spoke volumes on its own.

“Dick, please,” Jason called up, to Dick’s surprise. He truly had spoken up. In spite of it all, Jason proved to be the outlier. He spoke up. Distal had destroyed him, ruined his life…and he still spoke up. It was…

…it wasn’t funny…

The perfection was ruined. Dick’s whole opus felt different now. Hollow. Still, he wasn’t about to spare the scum who had hurt Jason, so he let go and watched as the rope pulled taut around the man’s neck, hanging him from the post.

“Jason!” Dick found Bruce in the crowd, steadily getting closer to the ring. “Jason! You have to stop this!” He looked up at Dick and cried out, “Dick! Please!”

Dick took one last look at Distal, letting his earlier smile return. “If only you could know what it’s like for people like us.”

“You and I aren’t alike!” Jason declared, ruining Dick’s show just a little more. “I…I couldn’t…”

Dick rolled his eyes and pointed his gun at the Waynes across the way. “Tell me, Jason Wayne. Has it ever benefited you to share that man’s blood?” Perhaps this revelation would stir things up a little.

“N-no. He’s lying!” Bruce shouted, suddenly stopping dead in his tracks. “You’re not…you’re not—”

“This man’s blood is the reason for your suffering!” Dick reminded Jason. “He’s the reason for what’s been done to you! He doesn’t deserve to live!”

“And you do?” Jason spat back.

Dick’s smile faded. His heart felt heavy in his chest. He was doing this for Jason. For Quinn. “I want to help you,” he tried to explain. “I want to free you of your chains.”

“Are you joking? You just want to make yourself feel better for what you let happen.”

It was like a cold slap in the face.

He did have some idea of what would happen to Jason. Maybe not exactly what…

…No…he knew…He’d seen the marks. He knew who Distal was. He knew that the man was making more money in the time that Jason had been absent. And instead of act he just…

“Come down here. Face me. You don’t have to do this,” Jason reassured him.

Dick scoffed. If only Jason knew all that he’d done. All that had happened in such a short time. But he dropped down into the middle of the ring and reached out to Jason. What mattered now was Jason. Jason was all he had left.

But Jason took out a familiar switchblade and took a swing at Dick when he got close. Dick felt something hot where the blade had grazed his cheek, but he reacted instantly, catching Jason’s hand and forcing him to drop the knife.

Face to face with Jason, his heart ached. This boy…what he wouldn’t do to see this boy smile. “It’s okay, Jaybird.” He wanted to steal another kiss. To reassure Jason that no one would hurt him anymore. But he knew that wasn’t true. Jason had proved to be better. He’d proven that he was exactly what Dick believed he was: true perfection. He’d do whatever he could to make sure that no one was allowed to touch Jason again. No one…but himself…

“I’m the only one who can hurt you now.”

He looked back and fired a shot up at the Waynes.

“NOOO!”

Blood sprayed and then Thomas and Martha Wayne dropped from the platform, hitting the dirt in the same satisfying way that Dick’s own parents had.

Using the situation as a distraction, Dick picked up his old switchblade and slashed at Jason, mirroring the cut that had been placed on his face. Looking at his work, he realized that it looked like he’d cut a permanent smile onto Jason’s face.

How perfect, he thought as he dropped both the gun and the knife. A roll of laughter split through him like a monster tearing free from his gut and he let it out. He laughed in spite of the pain from the cut. He laughed in spite of Bruce’s tears. What more could he do but laugh?


	3. Jason Todd - Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, see how it all happened from the perspective of Jason Todd. Learn the origin of the man behind the Bat in this universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woof.
> 
> I mean just...woof.
> 
> It's my fault already for making this "mature" but not "explicit," but again, as it is going to tie into my series that's rated "teen," I figured it would be best to keep it at least a step before the line that I occasionally play jump-rope with.
> 
> But uhh, yeah. All those little references to horrible things in the previous chapters? Yeah, this chapter confirms them. Again, nothing is too explicit. It's all kind of just referred to. That doesn't mean it's less awful, really, just that I did my best to skirt the worst of the details.
> 
> So yeah. For this chapter ESPECIALLY, mind the tags.
> 
> And lastly, in favor of getting this up, editing went a LITTLE quick...so if there are mistakes, my bad. I'll be checking over it every now and then to see if I can fix them up over time.

“You going to talk back again, boy?”

Jason spat out a mouthful of blood and stared at his mother imploringly. She kept her back to him, trembling. She hadn’t said a word as Liam had pushed him around. He had made it clear that he didn’t see Jason as more than another means of making money. Jason had quite a rap sheet as a pickpocket and shoplifter, but ever since receiving the Wayne Foundation Scholarship to attend the city’s most prestigious school, he’d decided to stop.

Liam didn’t like that.

“You’d better find some way to repay me for my kindness, or else I’ll find another way to make money off of you.”

Liam gave Jason one last shove before retiring to his room.

Since high school, the size difference between Jason and Liam had closed significantly. He no longer had to look up at the man; in fact, recently he’d actually grown taller than Liam. Jason had built up some muscle as well. If given fair odds, he had no doubt that he could handle Liam. But Liam never offered fair odds.

Knowing full well that Jason had given up thievery, he had his ‘friends’ rough Jason up at every opportunity under the impression that, if Jason ever couldn’t protect himself, they were welcome to do with him whatever they wanted.

It had become a daily process for Jason to deal with people jumping him in the streets.

“Better work quick, pretty boy,” Liam warned before shutting the door to his room. “You still owe me last month’s amount too. I figure, with interest, you owe me just over two thousand by the end of the month.”

Jason flipped Liam off as the door slammed shut.

Jason’s mother kept her back to her son as she said, “I can manage maybe five hundred. It’s up to you to take care of the rest, or next month will be even worse.”

His chest felt tight. His own mother couldn’t help him. She didn’t care what happened to him. And Liam made her make up for their debts as well, but her punishments involved being cut off from the drugs she took. Jason knew that, if he couldn’t cough up one thousand five hundred dollars, his mother would turn her back on him and let Liam punish him however he saw fit.

“I’ll take care of it,” he told his mother. “Always do.”

He rinsed the blood out of his mouth, found his cleanest jacket, and took off. Despite the promise he’d made to himself since attending the academy, he thought about pulling a couple of small gigs. Pickpocketing around the subway station was usually a good way to make a few bucks, though no one with real money used the trains. It would be pretty easy to hide out in the alleys where the drug dealers frequented, but stealing from drug dealers wasn’t always a good idea since a lot of them had connections to Liam.

Jason settled on his personal favorite: the local library. The smell of old paper gave him some solace, and many people who didn’t have computers of their own would use the library computers for personal matters. It was a little tricky, but if he stayed close enough, he could follow their keystrokes to a certain extent. Once they were done on the computer, he’d pickpocket their wallets in order to get the library card needed to gain access, then he’d use the credit card information to transfer over as much as possible.

Of course, people who needed to use library computers weren’t usually loaded anyways, and their bank accounts didn’t offer much of an expendable income.

While keeping track of one particular old man’s computer activity, Jason hid himself behind a book of short stories by Flannery O’Connor. He found it difficult to maintain the cover and not just start reading; her works were often cynical stories of hyper realism that Jason felt a disturbing connection to. 

“You should find a hobby that’s not boring.”

Jason looked up from his book and couldn’t help the smile that danced across his lips.

“You should find a hobby that doesn’t involve bothering me.”

Bruce Wayne had a way of messing up Jason’s plans.

Jason had been through the roof when he found the acceptance letter to Gotham Academy. Full ride on the Wayne Relief Scholarship. He hadn’t even applied. It was given out to people in need—which described Jason pretty well. It meant he could receive a formal education rather than absorbing as much information from the streets and books as he could manage. It meant he had a chance to make something of himself.

The first day he attended, however, Liam had men waiting nearby to jump him on his way out. They were supposed to remind him that attending school didn’t change anything. He owed his life to Liam. That’s just the way it was.

But showing up for class with a black eye and a cut lip had gotten him off to a bad start. As a scholarship student he already had a barrier between himself and the students whose families could afford the over-priced tuition. Seeing him looking like that, rumors quickly spread about him being some sort of street-brawling delinquent. It suited him just fine. That way at least people left him alone.

Except for the boy with the Wayne name himself.

Weird guy seemed insistent on knowing what was really going on with Jason. Why Bruce couldn’t just accept the simple lie that everyone else had, Jason couldn’t say.

Then Bruce was there when Liam’s goons jumped him again by the school gates. Without Bruce, that might have been Jason’s last day attending Gotham Academy. He was certainly guilt-ridden to have put the heir in harm’s way like that, but Bruce insisted that, no matter what, he would have jumped in anyways.

The rest was history. Bruce accepted that there were things Jason couldn’t explain, and Jason accepted that Bruce wasn’t the perfect rich boy that everyone seemed to think that he was.

Of course, keeping Bruce amused that evening meant he’d have to find another time to get the cash for Liam. That could be problematic. But the last thing he wanted was to let Bruce know that he needed help.

A night at the circus seemed like an odd thing to be excited about, but Bruce seemed to be anxious to show Jason something there.

Just outside of the main tent, a drunkard pushed past the two of them and Jason was painfully reminded of his fight with Liam earlier. He had to have a cracked rib or two. It was okay, though, the guy had gotten close enough that Jason was able to nab his wallet. He tucked it into his back pocket for later, determined not to let Bruce find out.

Before Bruce could waste money on tickets—something Jason would have considered to be a true shame—he sucked up his pride and decided to take up the offer of the one other person at the Academy who had taken an interest in him.

“You really came!” Upon finding Dick’s trailer, the asshole threw himself at Jason and it was all he could to keep himself from crying out in pain.

“Nnngh. Get off of me, you freak!” He pushed Dick off and got an arm over his shoulders instead. Maybe to the unknowing observer—which Bruce unfortunately was in this situation—it looked like Dick was being insensitive. But Jason knew better.

That was just how they were.

Jason had first met Dick in the locker rooms at the school. PE was a difficult class for Jason because he couldn’t shower with the rest of the boys. He couldn’t even change clothes in front of them. It meant revealing what had been done to him. He didn’t need that kind of attention.

But he couldn’t shower at his own home very often, and when he could, the water was ice cold. So, after school ended, when sports were going on and no one needed to be in the showers until they were over, Jason would sneak in and make use of the hot water.

During one of these private shower times, Dick showed up. Jason was so used to having the place to himself that he’d dropped his guard and, when the stranger was there looking at him, he didn’t even notice right away. When he finally did, his heart sank. Dick had just stood there, staring at him. No doubt taking in every bruise and scar, every inch of himself that showed the life he led…the life he’d been forced to lead…

Dick had just smiled at him at the time, and it was the saddest smile Jason had ever seen. Jason covered himself up moved to leave, but Dick got in his way and told him that he understood. He said that, if he needed help, he should ask for it.

After that Dick just always seemed to be around. Jason had waited for word to get out about his abuse, but Dick never reported it. Whenever Jason thought he was alone at school, that’s when Dick would make himself known. Whenever he had to walk home and was nervous about Liam’s men, Dick would always be there. He wasn’t subtle and he didn’t know how to act. But he acknowledged the damaged part of Jason and didn’t judge him for it.

He did, however, do everything in his power to make Jason admit that he needed help. And now, with such an obvious injury hidden from Bruce, Dick was clearly trying to push Jason into admitting that he was hurt. And more annoyingly, Bruce seemed to recognize that. But, to Jason’s relief, he was just as stubborn about not prying as Jason was about keeping it to himself.

Dick gifted him with the tickets he’d once promised, and they made their way back to the tent. All the while Bruce seemed hung up on Dick’s last name. Jason’s head was otherwise preoccupied. It was feeling a little difficult to breathe. Dick may have agitated things more than he realized. Thankfully Bruce was protective enough to keep him away from the uppity kids at the seats they got. Jason wondered if the whole concept of going to the circus was just a little outdated for people at their age. Wasn’t this something that parents were supposed to take their kids to?

Once the lights went out and the show started, none of that mattered. Each act took Jason’s breath away. Even in his wildest dreams he never thought he’d see lions and hyenas posing with elephants or people swallowing knives. To him, this was the stuff that he could only find in stories. It had never bled into his real life. He never thought it could. But sitting there with his best friend, it was like pure magic.

When the clowns finally came out Jason felt thoroughly hyped. He would never tell Dick to his face, but he was excited to see his performance.

Then the booing started.

“What the hell?”

“No, it’s okay, Pantalone is a bad guy,” Bruce explained. “It’s part of the show.”

Jason watched Dick swat a shoe that came flying at his head. “That’s part of the show?” he questioned. It was like reality had come crashing down into this living fantasy, reminding him that the world was never truly a place of wonder. “This is messed up.”

As if to prove his point, someone started throwing firecrackers, one of which startled the horse that the other clown was riding. Jason forgot what was happening when the horse began bucking. The clown girl was tiny. She was in danger. Jason couldn’t even explain what part of his brain made him move. He just knew that the clown had been thrown and he could reach her.

Pierrot hit Jason and it felt like he’d caught a pillow. She was soft. Mercifully light against his cracked ribs.

He hit the dirt with her on top of himself and felt a rush of adrenaline. It was like the world was moving in slow motion. The panicked horse reared over them and he moved with ease, rolling with the girl so that they were out of the way.

Jason’s heart was still threatening to beat out of his chest when Dick came sliding over, looking like he’d just witnessed a murder. Before he could say anything, Jason put a hand up to show that they were okay, then got to his feet and helped Pierrot to hers. As thanks she curtsied and used her own makeup to paint what must have been a cartoonish smile on his face. Feeling the eyes of the crowd burning into him, he gave his best showman’s bow before letting the clowns escort him back over to his seat.

“That was amazing,” Bruce whispered when Jason settled back in.

Jason was ready to speak, but upon sitting he suddenly felt the discomfort of his ribs pressing against his lungs again. “H-honestly, she can’t weight more than fifty pounds. It was like holding a doll.” Bruce continued to stare at him expectantly, so he added, “I just reacted without thinking. Was that supposed to be part of the show?

“No way. The horse has never done that that I know of.” Bruce seemed to recognize Jason’s discomfort and backed off a little to let him breathe. But, after Haly’s little additional announcements, Bruce re-settled and kept his eyes trained up high.

Jason, on the other hand, couldn’t look away from Dick. He had a obtained a large hat prop and, upon the start of the act for the ‘Flying Graysons,’ he ran right at Jason and Bruce. Instinct kicked in again and Jason was braced for a fight, but Dick stepped off the short wall that marked the ring of the stage, launched himself into an impossible backflip, and upon landing, threw the hat straight up into the air.

The ooh’s and ahh’s from the audience were the only reason Jason bothered to look up. A man and woman of similar stature to Dick proceeded to fly about the trapeze overhead. They were mesmerizing to watch, but once they dropped the hat, Dick caught it with a spectacular jump and, with the sort of strength and accuracy that Jason could imagine only a true gymnast could handle, he leapt into the air, pulled his legs tight together and his hands to his chest, allowing him to spin vertically in midair for a moment before landing perfectly and sending the hat back up.

That time, Jason didn’t bother to follow the hat. Even as the spotlights went up to the trapeze artists, he kept his attention on Dick, who moved with such careful grace that it gave Jason chills. Was this really the same guy who walked into a light post while he was distracted? The guy who didn’t know how to approach anybody to start a conversation?

After sending the hat flying once, Dick’s eyes locked with Jason’s and he gave a quick wink, making Jason scoff. He couldn’t help but feel a little grateful in that moment. He’d been disenchanted by the crowd only to have the magic thrown right back at him again. It allowed at least this one thing to remain fantastical to Jason, and that was more than he could ask for.

When the Flying Graysons apparently marked the end of the show, Dick tossed the hat to Haly who concluded the show.

While the audience dispersed, Dick joined Bruce and Jason at the edge of the ring. “Nice work earlier, Jaybird! I always knew you were the hero type. Nothing like the evil Pantalone!”

With a roll of his eyes, Jason pointed out, “You guys don’t do the Commedia Dell’Arte justice,” expressing his distaste for their use of ‘Pantalone’ and ‘Pierrot’.

He should have known better than to let his inner nerd slip, though. Both Bruce and Dick were aware of his appreciation for classic literature, but it didn’t stop either one of them from mocking him for it. In that moment, just to embarrass Jason further, Dick prostrated himself and bowed deeply. “Oh, please forgive us, Shakespeare, for misusing a literary trope in our show! We are unworthy!”

Jason noticed the odd looks he was getting and nudged Dick’s shoulder with the toe of his shoe. “Dude, cut it out. You’re so weird.”

Before Dick had gotten back to his feet, Bruce asked, “So, the flips and stuff…why do that this show? It was kind of…I don’t know, upstaging?”

Upstaging? Jason couldn’t think of anything cooler to watch than Dick in those moments. He thought to tell Bruce that, but a nearby shout cut him off.

“DICK! GET OVER HERE!”

Dick’s face twitched ever so slightly and Jason suddenly felt uncomfortable; it was as if a mask had slipped and an entirely different face was hidden underneath. But Dick recovered so quickly that Jason found himself wondering if it had just been in his head.

“Sorry. Duty calls. Catch you around school?”

Jason didn’t want to seem hypocritical for keeping to himself, so he didn’t bother to push. “Whatever dude.” He watched as Dick slowly moved towards the backstage area of the tent before following Bruce out. He thought he heard something just before they left the tent, but Bruce seemed unaware, so he didn’t bother thinking about it.

Bruce was particularly curious about Dick after that. Apparently his fascination with the circus had started largely due to the Flying Graysons act and that it wasn’t public knowledge that Pantalone was also a Grayson. It occurred to Jason that, perhaps there were some issues between Dick and his parents. It would explain some odd things about Dick’s behavior. It might even explain why Dick was so attached to Jason.

Jason liked how blissfully unaware Bruce was of things as they approached one of his family’s buildings. To Bruce, the whole world was much simpler. It might have felt unfair if it wasn’t so refreshing. When the young heir waved down his chauffer, Jason couldn’t help but smile to himself.

“Catch you later, Jay?”

Jason felt just a little depressed to have to go back to the dark and bleak world that he existed in when Bruce wasn’t around, so he gave his friend some incentive. “Oh no, after that I think you owe me a book,” he joked. “I could have spent my whole evening engulfed in a whole different world and instead you got me mugged by clowns.” He conveniently left out how the whole experience was more otherworldly than anything he had ever dreamed. “I’m not talking to you until you pay the fee of one book for my troubles.” He threw in a wink to really drive home the point that it was all in jest.

Bruce caught on quickly. “Sure thing. I think Dr. Seuss is about your speed, right?”

Jason flipped him off, but unlike Liam, it was a friendly gesture. It was a means of expressing just how solid their friendship was that they could be that mean to one another and walk away laughing about it. Bruce was the only person he’d ever had that sort of friendship with and he truly cherished it.

Now that Bruce was heading back to the safety of his lavish home, it was time for Jason to get back to reality. He’d wasted a lot of time with the circus show, but he could still accomplish a little that night. It would just take some effort. Besides, he didn’t want to go home yet if he didn’t have to. His home was distinctly lacking in the luxury of safety.

He barely passed the edge of the Wayne building when a large hand caught him by the back of the neck. Adrenaline kicked into overdrive as fear ate away at him. He’d been so taken by surprise that he didn’t even think to brace himself before he was slammed into the rough wall of the building. He could feel it cutting into the flesh on his cheek. The hand continued to hold onto him, calloused fingers digging into his neck painfully

“Thought I recognized you, you little twat,” the man growled out. The stench of alcohol on his breath made Jason gag. He wanted to get free. He wanted to get away. “Who’d’ve thunk Liam’s boy would go and snatch my wallet. Must be my lucky night. You know what he says about you?”

Jason knew enough to feel his stomach churn. “It’s every man for himself, shithead. If you can’t watch your wallet, that’s your own problem.”

The man’s hands dug in deeper and his nails started to break skin. “If that’s the case, guess you won’t mind if I make you pay for stealing from me.” A rough hand slipped up under Jason’s shirt and his blood went cold.

This was too much.

Jason managed to kick a leg back right into the man’s groin. The man released Jason’s neck and Jason pushed back, using his own weight to topple the man. He tried to make a break for it, but the guy caught his ankle and tripped him.

The impact aggravated his earlier injuries, giving him pause. It was hard to breathe. His chest hurt. He had to move. He couldn’t let this man get the better of him. He had to—

The man slammed a fist down on Jason’s back, knocking the wind out of him and snapping his ribs. He stopped struggling. Every breath felt like fire in his lungs. It would be easier to just stop.

“You’re more trouble than you’re worth,” the man spat before getting off of Jason and forcing him onto his back. “Tell you what, kid. Make it worth my time and I’ll make sure you get a little something for your troubles.” He forced two dirty fingers into Jason’s mouth and, for a brief moment, Jason’s sense came back to him.

He bit down as hard as his jaw would allow.

“Fuck!” The man leapt off of Jason, holding his bloody hand to his chest. Jason took the opportunity to get back on his feet and run.

Every step was agony. Every breath made him feel like screaming. But he had to get away. He just had to get away.

But where?

Before he knew it, Jason had come around the corner to Crime Alley. Just a few more steps and he’d be at the doorway to his own home.

No, that wasn’t his home.

Liam had no home to offer.

“Fuck…Fuck fuck fuck.” Jason clenched his chest and dropped to his knees next to one of the dumpster bins. He had to slow down. Had to breathe. His vision was blurry. His heart threatened to beat right out of his chest. There had been enough damage done to him. He probably needed to go to a hospital…but there’s no way that’d be allowed.

Jason curled up on himself, trying to think it through. He had nowhere to go. No one was going to save him. It was his own responsibility to take care of himself. He couldn’t rely on anyone.

Someone walked past him and he couldn’t even tense up. It didn’t matter who saw him. Did it even matter if he lived? Would anyone even notice if he just disappeared?

“There you are, little brat.”

Jason took a slow breath. He couldn’t keep running. There was no point. If the man wanted to kill him, who was he to stop him?

“You’re lucky you’ve got a pretty face, kid.” The man got his hand under Jason’s chin and forced him to look up. Fear gripped at Jason again as a different sort of torment came to mind. Tears slipped down his face as he accepted that maybe, just maybe, that would get the man to spare him.

“If you think I’m giving you a penny after what you did though, you’ve got another think co—”

The man’s grip went slack. Jason pulled his face back just a bit as the man collapsed. The only clue as to what had happened was a switchblade sticking out of the guy’s neck.

The man sputtered, his body convulsing slightly as it adjusted to the shock. Jason watched the life drain out of the man’s eyes with growing fascination. Moments ago the man was alive and well. Now…

Bile rose in Jason’s throat, but he forced himself to stay quiet. It was beyond lucky that he was still alive himself. Maybe some twisted guardian angel was looking out for him, but that didn’t mean he was safe from suffering the same fate.

The knife glinted in the moonlight, as if telling him that it wasn’t his time to die.

He leaned forward, grunting as his body reminded him of the damage it had taken, and pulled the knife out of the man’s neck. A gush of blood rushed out of the spot where it had slid right through the man’s skin so cleanly. Jason bit his lip, still tasting the blood and grime from the man’s fingers, and carefully pushed the blade back into the handle. He kept it in his hand and pulled his knees back up, hiding his face.

People passed by him and he heard a quiet exclamation over the dead man. He could feel the weight of the knife in his hand. The tool that had saved him.

The tool that had killed.

Could he really use it if it came down to it?

Thankfully he wouldn’t have to know that night. The people left him alone and, before he could figure out what to do, his body finally gave in to the exhaustion and he drifted to sleep, shivering in the cold.

Jason barely had the sense to go home the next morning. His body still ached, but he could breathe again—albeit with a bit of difficulty due to the cold he’d gotten from sleeping outside.

Liam’s place was wrecked more than usual, Jason noted upon stepping inside. The door was messed up, some furniture was overturned, and the scumbag was resting off what looked like a bad hangover in the living room. Jason fetched his backpack and a uniform without waking the man and hurried to the local coffee shop to change in the public restroom.

At school everything felt better. The moment Bruce met up with him at the gate it was like a weight had been lifted off his chest. To Jason’s surprise, Dick met up with them as well. He looked worse than Jason remembered, but it wasn’t his place to ask when he was even more messed up. Mercifully Dick was a little less inclined to hang on Jason. It was barely an afterthought, but Jason had kept the switchblade on his person still. Even when around his friends, there was a certain amount of comfort he was able to take from just having it on him.

As nice as it was to get back to the normalcy that the academy had to offer, Jason needed to get back to his mother eventually. It kept picking at his brain, but he knew that he should check on her after the way that Liam’s place looked. He’d never forgive himself if his mother had been hurt by Liam in his absence.

“Heading home?”

Jason nearly jumped out of his skin when Dick landed on the sidewalk in front of him. The clown had jumped right over the wall of the academy gate like it was nothing.

“Geez. What, the doors too boring for you?”

“Mind if I walk with you?”

Jason didn’t want the extra baggage. “I can take care of myself.”

“Never said you couldn’t. Just feel like taking the long way home.” Dick reached towards Jason’s face, making him flinch away. “How about I buy you dinner? Don’t think I didn’t notice you didn’t have any lunch.”

Jason would be lying if he said he wasn’t hungry. When had he eaten last? “I…I wouldn’t mind a bite…”

Dick seemed thrilled to have earned that much. Jason let himself be led to a custom pizza joint. Dick insisted on getting him a full-size pizza with the excuse that it was a great price. Jason really couldn’t complain. The place used a set price for whatever, so he piled on the toppings. He’d never had the luxury of building his own pizza. The poor worker in charge of setting his pizza up didn’t seem certain how to handle the mountain of meats and veggies buried under four different kinds of cheeses, but Dick didn’t even bat an eye—he even got a smaller pizza for himself. No toppings. Total waste, Jason thought.

“You alright?”

“Hm?” Jason lost a sausage as he tried to get a bite of just one slice. So much flavor clashing in his mouth…

“Your face,” Dick noted, touching a finger to Jason’s cheek.

Jason winced, having forgotten about the scrape from when the man had pressed his face against the building. “Mm.” He swallowed, not taking the time to savor the bite that he wanted. “Must’ve tripped.”

“How does the great hero who can dodge a startled horse trip and mess up his pretty face?”

Jason shuddered and set his slice of pizza down. “Don’t…Don’t say that…”

Dick leaned towards Jason, who retreated away.

“Hey, I wasn’t saying—”

“I just tripped, okay? Look, I need to go. I shouldn’t have even stopped.” Jason gathered his backpack and sighed.

Dick pushed the large pizza box towards Jason. “Hey. I didn’t mean to upset you. At least take the food. As an apology and a peace offering.”

Jason wanted to shove it right back at Dick, but his stomach growled and he wasn’t sure when he’d eat next. “F-fine…But just this once. You can’t buy me with food.”

“You’re priceless, Jaybird. I’m not buying you. Just enjoying some time with you.”

It was a little reassuring to hear that, but Dick’s strange personality was more than Jason wanted to deal with. So he nodded his thanks, picked up the box, and left Dick in order to hurry back to his mother.

It was a relief to find that Liam was out when Jason got back. Before anything, he found tin foil and wrapped the pizza so that it could be stashed in the fridge. Hopefully Liam would ignore it and Jason would be able to eat it without having to fight for a bite. When he was satisfied, he tossed the box out and went upstairs to check on his mother.

It wasn’t surprising to see her on the floor of her room, her pupils blown wide. Out of habit he checked her pulse. Still breathing. He helped her to sit up and fetched her a glass of water. The least he could do was make sure that she was still hydrated. “Did something happen last night?” he eventually asked her as he leaned against her bed with her, supporting her weight on his shoulder.

“The Hoods…”

“The Hoods?”

She scratched at the track marks on her right arm and nodded. “You know how Liam can be. He owes the Red Hoods money. They…they made a show of power. Proved that they could do whatever they wanted to us.”

Jason couldn’t help but smile. The thought of Liam finally getting what he deserved was…it was enticing…

“I’m sorry baby. They took it.”

“Took what, Mom?”

“I…I had money. I had money that I was going to…to give to Liam but…”

Jason closed his eyes and sighed. The five hundred she’d mentioned was gone. Now it was all on him. He knew better than to trust her to make any back in time anyways. “It’s okay. I’ll take care of it.”

“You know he doesn’t mean it…”

“Mom…”

“He’s just trying to help you grow into a better man.”

Jason wondered if she really believed that when she was high. Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing; to believe that someone actually cared. Maybe he’d be an addict too if drugs could do that for him…

“If we don’t get the money, he’s going to be so mad.”

“I know.”

“But you won’t let him hurt me. You’re so good to me.”

Jason had had enough. He didn’t want to listen to his mother’s drug-induced ramblings. He pulled her arm over his shoulders and hoisted her up into the bed. “There’s some food in the fridge,” he muttered. “I’ll…I’ll be home later…I guess.” He wasn’t sure why he was telling her that. It wasn’t like she’d remember any of it anyways. Was that the sort of thing that normal kids did with their mothers? He supposed he’d never know.

“I don’t know why he won’t acknowledge you,” she muttered. “Why won’t he help?”

“Liam’s only in it for himself,” Jason told her. “You know that. I know you know that.”

“No…Not…Not…” She rolled over and continued to mutter into her pillow.

Jason closed the door to her room, hopeful that Liam would leave her alone when he got back. Then he found comfortable clothes that didn’t smell too awful—a red hoodie and a ripped pair of jeans would have to do—and moved the switchblade to his sweatshirt pocket. As he opened the door to leave, he came face to face with Liam, who looked like he’d had a rough night himself.

“The fuck are you lookin’ at?”

Jason didn’t even bother to respond. He just stepped aside and grunted as Liam shoved past him.

“Don’t even know what the fuck you’re doing here. You should be out there selling your ass or something like your mother.”

There was nothing that Jason could say that would improve anything.

“If you’re just going to stand there with your mouth hanging open, you might as well go out and put it to better use.”

Jason slammed the door shut behind him as he left with no intentions of returning that night.

It was getting harder and harder for Jason to get cash. Liam’s men were relentless—which he really couldn’t fathom since if HE couldn’t get money, that meant Liam couldn’t get money—and he was still struggling through old injuries. School had become less of a reprieve and more of a challenge. Every day he’d fight through the anxiety of knowing that people were waiting for him to slip just outside of the gate. Knowing that if he went to check on his mother he’d be faced with Liam. Knowing that he had to figure this all out soon or there’d be hell to pay.

Couldn’t he just let it go? Maybe he could stay away from Liam’s place until the month was up…Then the man would pay for his problems himself and that would be that.

Of course, Jason’s mother wouldn’t leave no matter what he tried and if she got hurt as collateral, he’d never forgive himself.

But it was wearing on him fast.

“Hey kid.”

The man waiting outside the gate for him that day was familiar. He was one of Liam’s goons who seemed to enjoy watching the others go after Jason more than actually attacking him. He was alone too. Jason wasn’t sure if this was sheer confidence or if he was really in that bad shape.

“Please, just let it go. I’m tired. I still have more than two thousand to get. Don’t make this harder on me,” he muttered as he tried to pass by the alley where he’d been jumped so many times. Now, he thought, would be a great time for Dick to leap down from over the wall or Bruce to happen by.

No such luck though.

“I’ve got a way for you to make an easy $200. What do you say?”

Jason wanted to tell the guy where he could shove his money. He wanted to turn away and figure out his next target. It was getting to the point where he was about ready to start snatching purses if that’s what it took.

“C’mon, kid. I don’t want to hurt you. Won’t even fuck you. How about that? I can be nice. Just want a little fun.”

Jason stopped walking away.

“Tell you what. You make it good for me and I’ll make it $300. That’s more than your cock-sleeve of a mother makes for a full lay. I just want to see that pretty face of yours look a little wrecked.”

Jason bit his lip. “Not here,” he muttered.

“Oh?”

He didn’t want to do this sort of thing anywhere near Gotham Academy. If anyone found out about it…

“Not here and…and you’ve got a deal…”

The guy at least had the courtesy to take Jason to another back alley. Jason wished the place didn’t smell so much like piss and mold, but he supposed he couldn’t be choosy in this sort of situation. The man undid his belt and told Jason to get on his knees. Jason looked around and made sure that, as he knelt, he was covered from the view of the street by the dumpster. The knees of his uniform pants hit a puddle of God-knows-what, making Jason cringe. “C-can I make one extra request?” Jason dared to try.

The man scoffed and caressed the side of Jason’s face that wasn’t healing from the scrape. “Better make it snappy, kid. My generosity is wearing thin.”

Maybe his generosity was, but his manhood sure wasn’t. Jason swallowed a lump in his throat upon being face to face with something that he never wanted to be on eye-level with.

“I just…Need enough quarters to do a load at the laundromat.”

What happened next made Jason feel ill.

The man ran his hand through Jason’s hair almost…affectionately. “Aw kid. In another life, maybe the world wouldn’t be so cruel.”

He didn’t have anything else to say, though. He didn’t confirm that he’d give the quarters. He just guided Jason’s head forward so that the tip of his cock was pressed to Jason’s lips.

It took everything Jason had not to throw up. The smell. The taste. All of it made him sick. The action was degrading. He barely did anything. Barely had to. The man moved his head as he wanted. At best he tried to keep his teeth from scraping along the guy’s length, but when they did every now and then it only seemed to excite the guy. When it got hard to breathe he’d just close his eyes and force himself to inhale slowly through his nose. The smell made it worse, and the hairs that pressed to his nostrils nearly pushed him over the edge, but he pushed through.

Of course he knew that the guy wouldn’t have the curtesy to pull out when he was done. He hadn’t wanted to swallow that awful spunk, but he also didn’t want to give the guy any reason to back out of the deal.

“Your technique could use some work, kid,” the man told him upon handing him three hundred dollars in all twenties. He threw in an extra ten-dollar bill after counting it all out. “I don’t have quarters, but that should cover a load or two. Maybe do yourself a favor and use the change to get something to eat. You look like you’ve been starved, kid.”

Jason accepted the money without a word. He wasn’t about to thank the man. Not for what he’d been made to do. But…he was happy to be able to clean his uniform. He went back to Liam’s place and stuffed a garbage bag with as much clothes as he could carry. After stashing the three hundred in the broken air vent in the back of the upstairs closet by his mother’s room, he changed into a plain shirt and old pants that he wouldn’t mind not washing. He kept only the switchblade and ten dollar bill on him otherwise as he went back out.

While at the laundromat he came to accept that what he’d done wasn’t completely awful. If he could keep it at just that, maybe he could manage enough to pay Liam and live a bit more comfortably. It would be nice, he thought, to be able to wash his clothes a little more consistently. And he was tired of picking off the mold on the bread Liam threw out. He thought back to the loaded pizza Grayson had bought him and found his stomach growling. For now he settled on a bottle of water and a granola bar from the vending machines at the laundromat and took solace in the droning sound of the machines at work.

Keeping his extracurricular income a secret from Bruce and Dick proved difficult. Both were inclined to stay with him after school—no doubt hoping to make sure he didn’t get assaulted, which Jason really did appreciate—so it took a little effort to get them to leave him be.

In Bruce’s case he occasionally promised to see him later. It was easier to promise if he had someone lined up. One day in particular Jason was careful to make sure that Bruce wasn’t looking at the alley. The man who had paid Jason the first time was there with three other guys who all looked Jason over hungrily. Jason had come to prefer it on days when that man was around. He had become a sort of watchful eye for Jason. Ensured that the men who used him paid up and didn’t do anything too awful. But still, he really didn’t need Bruce asking questions.

“Don’t worry about me. If you need a breath of Gotham’s stale air tonight, just find me at the library. I’ve got a few errands I need to run before Heading home anyways,” he told Bruce as his eyes wandered, focusing on the man who waved a small fan of twenties in the alley. He’d gotten to just over a thousand dollars in just over a week of this. Not everyone was as generous as the first man, but there was no denying that the money was much better than what Jason would manage with petty pickpocketing that was only occasionally successful.

“Fine, fine. You’ve been looking a lot better lately,” Bruce pointed out, regaining Jason’s attention. “N-not that you looked bad, it’s just…well, there’s more color in your face.”

Jason coughed, trying to mask the heat he felt rising to his face. “I’m just…I’m eating a little better,” he muttered, horrified at the thought that these sickening services were truly helping him.

Bruce just shrugged and said he’d catch Jason later.

Jason just looked towards the alley where the men waited and motioned his head to the side. The man who helped him out led the men to the alley a few blocks away, per Jason’s agreement, and he serviced them, earning an easy hundred from each of them. One guy got a little handsy, making Jason nervous, and another only wanted a makeout session that seemed innocent enough until Jason was quietly begging him to only leave marks where he could cover them up with his uniform. The brief discomfort was tolerable. And as soon as he had enough to pay off Liam, he vowed to himself that he’d stop. He’d only do this sort of thing for quick cash. He didn’t want to be associated with his mother’s line of work.

The first man didn’t seem to want anything that day, but he still gave Jason an extra ten dollars again, which he’d begun to thank the man for. That ten-dollar bonus meant a meal and clean clothes again and again. He began to anticipate it. He wouldn’t count it with the amount that he’d make otherwise. Ten dollars just for himself. Ten dollars to make up for a whole lot of awful. It was small, but it was nice.

Jason hadn’t even realized that he’d become complacent until one day when he went to the alley by the school expecting the men waiting for his services only to be confronted with men who had jumped him a while back when Bruce had helped him out.

“Shit!” Jason spun on his heel to run but one of the guys caught him by the back of his uniform collar and pulled hard enough to rip him right off his feet. He fought, kicking and clawing as the man pulled him into the alley on his back. He could feel his jacket ripping against the cement and groaned. They weren’t cheap to replace. He’d have to dip into his Liam money to get a new one.

The man dragging Jason suddenly shoved him down so that he was lying flat on the ground. The guy then straddled Jason, sitting on his waist with all of his weight while two other men pinned Jason’s arms to the sides so that he couldn’t really fight them off.

“Get offa me!” Jason shouted. He knew that he was still in earshot of the school, but this was something he wouldn’t allow. He was scared. Where was the man who gave him ten dollar bills? Why was this happening? He had to get free. He couldn’t…he couldn’t let them have what they wanted.

“C’mon, kid. You know how this goes.” The man sitting on Jason pushed his hands up under Jason’s uniform shirt, scraping his rough nails over Jason’s abdomen slowly as he worked his way up. “You want to get paid, right?”

Jason felt sick at the implication. This man…these men…they were only trying to take from him what they felt he was giving out. How could he let it come to this?

“We’ll pay you good if you let us,” the man reassured Jason as his cold fingers brushed over Jason’s nipples, where they lingered and kneaded the sensitive flesh, making Jason want to squirm out of his skin. “You always say you won’t go further, but I’m betting you never have, right?”

Another horrible realization: they KNEW his policies. Jason had gained notoriety for his services.

“I’ll pay you double if you let me pop that cherry.”

Jason gave a hard shake but couldn’t even get the man to shift. “No! Get off! Fuck you!”

The man took one hand out of Jason’s shirt and untied Jason’s uniform tie, letting it slide out from around the messed up collar and tossing it aside, “No, kid. I plan to fuck you.”

Jason’s heart pounded in his chest. How could he let this happen? How did it come this far? Right next to Gotham Academy too. He didn’t want their money. He didn’t want to be there. He was done. He knew that now. It wasn’t worth it. He’d rather pick the mold off of the bread. He’d rather pray that the wallet he'd snatched had more than a couple bucks in it. He’d rather wear the same disgusting clothes day after day.

CRACK!

The man fell off of Jason and the two holding his arms down scrambled backwards. Jason’s eyes locked on silhouette of his savior, back to the sunlight. It was Dick Grayson, standing over him like an avenging angel with a bloody tire iron in hand.

The relief was short lived and quickly replaced with pure rage. He caught one of the men scrambling away by the ankle and pulled them across the concrete this time, pulling himself up onto their torso so that he could beat the shit out of him.

“You fuckers!” he screamed. “Don’t ever touch me! I’m not like my mother! You hear me?” He wanted the message to get across. He was done with this. Never again.

Just as he stopped punching the guy, he stood up and watched as Dick took an elbow to the face from one of the remaining men. Rage pooled in Jason’s gut, threatening to spill over. He took the switchblade from his pocket, clicked the blade out, and caught Dick’s attacker in a headlock, pressing the knife against his Adam’s apple. “Piss off, asshole. Tell Liam I’m done with this shit. Next time I’ll really fuck you up.”

Because that was what it had to be. If anyone was going to fuck Jason over, it was going to be the scumbag who claimed to be his “guardian”.

When he was satisfied that his threat got through to the guy, Jason let him go and gave him one final kick for good measure. It took a moment for him to calm down, but he still tucked the knife back into his pocket, once again feeling that it had saved him, and retrieved his castaway tie.

“Some people, am I right? Just can’t take no for an—”

“Don’t.” This wasn’t something that Jason could joke about. This wasn’t something that Jason wanted Dick to know about. Everything about it made him feel uncomfortable. Like the balance of power had shifted irreparably. “Just…don’t. This didn’t happen. You didn’t see anything.”

Dick scoffed at Jason’s request. “I know exactly what I saw. It’s okay. I’m glad I heard you or—”

“No.” Jason couldn’t bare the thought of what might have happened. “Don’t say anything.” Maybe that would be enough to pretend that it hadn’t happened. “You didn’t see anything. I…” Jason’s voice caught in his throat. He was getting upset with the same person who had just saved him. What was wrong with him? “Thanks but…” He shook his head and fought back the urge to cry. “Just forget it.”

Dick’s usual carefree attitude shifted perceptibly. “You were in trouble.”

“I’m in trouble a lot.” Jason knelt by the guy Dick had knocked out with a tire iron and snatched his wallet. Like hell was he going to let the guy have a freebie like that. He took all of the cash that had apparently been kept to pay for other services rendered before putting it back and moving on to the guy he’d punched out to repeat the process. “Can’t always expect a good Samaritan like you to swoop in and save me.”

It was true. He’d let his guard down. Got adjusted to the little luxuries that he’d been able to afford. But that was over now. No more. He’d have to keep an eye out for people trying to kick his ass again just to make sure that they didn’t do anything else to his ass.

Dick scoffed before poking at the guy he’d knocked out with the tire iron. “Well, why not get rid of the problem, then?” he suggested, making Jason’s blood run cold. “You’ve got a knife. You know where to slice.”

Dick had to be joking. “Come on. We’re just kids. We shouldn’t even have to consider killing people,” he muttered, trying to reassure himself that Dick was just messing around.

“You’re just a kid and they shouldn’t have even considered—”

“Like I said,” Jason said quickly and a bit too loudly, “Nothing happened. I’m fine.” He didn’t like the steely tone in Dick’s voice. It was unfeeling. It sounded like, if given the opportunity, he really might…

No. Jason didn’t want to think of his friend like that. Hell, he didn’t want to think at all. He just wanted to go to the library, curl up in the furthest corner, and wait there until Bruce showed up.

But Bruce didn’t show. It didn’t mean much, just that he didn’t get the opportunity to sneak away. That was probably a good thing, Jason thought to himself. It meant that his parents were paying attention for a change. It sucked a little, though, since Jason should have been spending the time getting the last hundred bucks he needed to pay off Liam. He was so close. One more day to the end of the month and he just needed a hundred.

But he was sore, he was shaken up, and he was reassessing what he’d been doing. He wound up falling asleep while reading an old copy of Sherlock Holmes classics. An employee had to wake him when it was closing time and he moved on to a 24 hour diner and kept getting cheap things throughout the night in order to be allowed to stay inside where it was warm. He wound up drinking enough coffee to keep his eyes open until the sun came up the next morning.

“That’ll be sixteen dollars, kid,” the waitress said as he shifted in the booth. “And you’d better hurry up. Based on that uniform, you’ve got to get across town in about an hour.”

He thanked her and paid her the last of his little ten-dollar bonus change, grateful that it had at least afforded him one final night off of the streets.

Dick was waiting for him at the school gate. They didn’t exchange a word, but Jason didn’t bother pushing him away either. He just hoped that the silence and the bags under his own eyes would be enough to get Dick to take it easy on him.

“What the hell happened to you guys?”

Of course, Bruce found him when he was stashing his uniform jacket in his school locker, figuring he’d just go the day without it and worry about paying for a new jacket at a later date.

Jason didn’t know what to tell Bruce. He didn’t want to explain what had happened. Didn’t want to admit to it. Hell, he didn’t even want to believe that it had happened at all. So he closed his locker and tried to come up with something, anything to tell Bruce to explain away his injuries and Dick’s broken nose.

But Dick spoke up before he could say anything.

“Found some jerk trying to curb stomp our little Jaybird yesterday.” Jason bristled. “I couldn’t let Jay have all the fun, so I put my head on the curb next to his to see what it would feel like.”

Jason curled his hands into fists at his sides, shaking with quiet rage. Dick was just goading him on. Picking at the scab. “That’s not what happened, freak,” he ground out, trying not to lose his cool. How could Dick worry Bruce like that? Bruce, who was nothing but loyal and helpful to them. Bruce who deserved better than a friend who had to sell himself for cash. “Don’t tell him shit like that,” he warned.

Dick didn’t let up, though. “I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t always so private.”

Jason was private with good reason. How could he tell Bruce the truth? It was too horrible to even consider. And what if Bruce stopped looking at him like an equal and started to take pity on him? Jason couldn’t stand the thought. He would never accept charity from Bruce. It would be awful to have to accept help like that.

“Just drop it, Dick.” Bruce pushed closer to Jason. Close enough that he could feel his friend’s warmth. It was…nice. He wanted to sink into that warmth. Revel in what small comfort it had to offer. What had he done to earn such a friend like Bruce? “If he doesn’t want to talk about it, nobody should force him.”

Dick’s eyes widened and Jason felt, once again, like the mask had slipped. “You’re really going to carry the burden of the world on your shoulders alone, aren’t you, Jaybird?” Dick asked incredulously before shoving Jason’s shoulder, forcing him to take a step back and just a little bit away from Bruce. Jason felt a twinge of panic in that moment. Dick was being unusually hostile. He wanted to fix the mask. He wanted back that goofy smile that usually greeted him. He didn’t like this side to Dick. “Just say the word and maybe next time there will be more than just me to help you out.”

It was inconceivable. It had been bad enough that Dick had seen Jason in that position. It would be completely unbearable if Bruce were to catch him like that. “I don’t need help,” he muttered, though he felt less defensive and more ashamed at this point.

What happened next shook Jason to his core. After what Dick had witnessed, Jason couldn’t believe what he did; grabbing the middle of Jason’s uniform shirt and ripping it open so hard that some of the buttons keeping it shut flew off, clattering on the hallway floor.

It was the worst thing that could have happened. The marks that the man who had enjoyed kissing him had left behind. The bruising from where the man the day before had raked his fingers over too harshly. It was all exposed for not just the two of his friends, but the rest of the school to see.

Jason punched Dick square in the face with all of his might before holding his shirt closed. It had been an instinctual reaction. He was so angry that he was shaking. So horrified that he could hardly breathe. His head pounded as his blood boiled. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, pulsing louder to him than the gym teacher who came to break things up. When the teacher’s hand landed on Jason’s shoulder, it took considerable self-control to keep himself from throwing another punch.

“I’m surprised you haven’t messed up like this already, Todd,” the coach spat. Not that Jason had ever shied away from his delinquent reputation before, but he kept quiet, his tearful eyes trained on Dick’s bloody mouth. “You’re suspended for the rest of the week.”

Bruce tried to speak up on Jason’s behalf, but the fact was: that suited Jason just fine. He was lucky to be suspended and not expelled, plus it afforded him the opportunity to take the day to get the last hundred dollars he needed. He took off, eager to get as far away from the school as he could as soon as possible.

He'd taken just one step past the gate when Bruce caught him by the arm. “Jason, I’m sorry I asked,” Bruce said, panting as he tried to catch his breath. Had Jason been running? He wasn’t even sure. “I just thought maybe Dick was hurting you or something.”

Jason didn’t bother to pull away from Bruce or even gratify that notion with a response. Dick would never hurt him. He knew that. He knew that and he’d just taken a swing at the guy himself. Even now he was sickeningly confident that Dick wouldn’t hurt him. It made him want to cry. Want to scream. Why did it have to happen like that? What could he tell Bruce?

“Not everyone can live in luxury and get every little cut bandaged up and a bowl of ice cream to make it all better afterwards.”

Jason hated himself for saying that. It wasn’t how he felt at all. He was just upset. He wanted Bruce to leave him alone…he…he wanted Bruce to figure out that he was better off without Jason in his life. Maybe being nasty would achieve that.

Bruce released his arm but Jason still felt frozen in place. He wouldn’t leave Bruce again. Not without being dismissed. He owed Bruce that much.

“Here.” Bruce pressed something small into Jason’s hand. “Buy all the bandages and ice cream you could ever want. Just, hear me out.”

Jason looked at the cufflinks Bruce had handed him and fought the urge to break down and tell Bruce everything right then and there. “I can’t take these,” he mumbled, a weight on his chest threatening to pull him under. “These are diamonds.” He was fully aware that even those little diamond-crusted W’s were worth more than Liam wanted and then some. Just one of them would probably afford him and his mother a few months of not having to worry about money…

“They’re nothing to me,” Bruce said with a shrug that nearly split Jason’s heart in two. “I’ll have a new pair tomorrow. Just take them. Sell them. I don’t care.”

Jason let out a strained sigh as his hand curled around the priceless gift. It would be the one time. He could make this exception. If Bruce knew what he was doing…he’d want to help…wouldn’t he? Jason shook a little as he asked, “Why do you care what happens to me?” He sniffled, fighting back tears. “Most people don’t even spare a passing glance.”

Bruce scoffed, smiling as warmly as the sun. “You and me, we’re basically family. You’re the family I choose.”

Jason rubbed his eyes with one hand and pocketed the cufflinks with the other. He smiled back for Bruce. It was such a nice thought—to be Bruce Wayne’s brother. It was stupid, but the gesture wasn’t lost on him. He loved Bruce. He knew that. He’d do anything for him. “Catch you in a week?” he said, careful to make sure that his voice didn’t shake.

And suddenly it was like nothing had been wrong. “Tch. Catch you tonight is more like it,” Bruce decided for them. “Usual corner of the library?”

Jason rolled his eyes, figuring that he could run the cufflinks to a pawn shop with enough time to spare to pay Liam off and meet up with Bruce that night.

“Someday I’ll finish a book without you interrupting me,” he finally said, showing that he was okay.

And for the first time in a long time, Jason honestly thought that he would be.

The pawn shop gave him $5000 for just one of the cufflinks. Jason had never even imagined seeing that much money. He was so thrilled that he bought a half-decent looking leather jacket and a duffel bag at the same shop. Upon zipping the jacket up he couldn’t help but think how it fit him so well. It was lined with wool for extra heat and…well, he looked good in it. He’d have to take good care of it. As for the bag, he used it to keep the rest of the cash for now and kept it on his person as close as possible.

He couldn’t help but feel a little giddy after that. Just under two thousand dollars left to do whatever with. Of course, he knew he’d have to stash it away and make sure it would last—especially since a childish part of him wanted to keep the other cufflink for himself as a symbol of fraternity with Bruce—but that didn’t mean he couldn’t spare a couple bucks. He went back to the custom pizza place Dick had taken him too and, once again, loaded a pizza up with a mountain of toppings, though this time it was just a personal pizza (Liam had found the last one and hadn’t left a single piece for Jason). After eating the whole thing to himself, he delighted in the fact that he couldn’t remember ever feeling that full.

On his way back to Crime Alley he passed by a used bookstore and couldn’t help himself. He’d seen the place numerous times and never stepped inside. Now was his chance. He wouldn’t need much. Just one book to call his own. One book that he could read over and over again, cover to cover. That would be enough.

But it had to be the perfect book.

Jason smiled to himself as he scoured the over-stuffed shelves, searching for the perfect book. He delighted in the way that the dusty old books sapped the moisture right out of his fingertips as they brushed over the worn-out spines. This was heaven. If given the opportunity, Jason would never leave the shop. He’d happily curl up in a corner like a cat and stay there.

And it was while thinking just that that he noticed a long black tail dangling just over his head. He swatted it out of his face and it flicked about almost playfully in front of his nose. He grabbed it only to hear a shrill yelp before a woman fell almost comically into his arms.

The woman had the most dazzlingly light green eyes with pupils that narrowed like a cat’s upon looking at him. Her auburn hair was short and framed her angular face in a way that made Jason’s heart skip a beat. She’d landed in his arms so perfectly that her arms even wrapped around his shoulders to hold her self up. They stared at each other like that for a long moment before he finally lowered her feet so that she could stand on her own.

“I’m…I mean, I didn’t mean to…where did you…” Jason looked up, unsure of where this angel had fallen from.

The girl proceeded to put her arms up, stretching leisurely, letting her tight-fitting shirt lift just enough to show her muscular stomach and make Jason’s face light up. “Mmm, that was one helluva way to wake a girl up,” she said in a voice that, to Jason, sounded like pure honey. A soft, almost purring sound came out of her as she looked him over. “Guess I needed to wake up anyways. I didn’t hear you come in. Anything I can help you find, cutie?”

Jason took a nervous step back since she seemed completely unaware of just how close they still were. He could smell her. The faintest hint of flowers over the musty smell of old books. No one, boy or girl, had ever made him feel quite as dumbstruck as she did in that moment.

“Hm? Hello? You still there?” She waved a hand in front of his face and he nearly fell over. As he tried to find his voice as well as a place to look that wouldn’t make him embarrassed (not her face, her eyes were hypnotic; not her chest, her clothes left so little to the imagination; not her hips, the way that her leggings hugged her curves so perfectly was breathtaking, and the tail swishing about behind her was…wait…).

“You…have a tail,” Jason blurted out.

The girl cocked her head slightly. “Oh, I thought maybe you…Um, welcome to my shop,” she said, doing a little twirl with her arms out. “It’s kind of nice to know I’m not the only reason people come here anymore,” she added. “See, this is my family’s old shop: La Chat Noir Solitaire. It means—”

“—The Lonely Black Cat,” Jason finished for her without thinking. “I’ve passed by the place so many times but never really had the cash to…I mean…”

The woman raised a slender eyebrow curiously. “We’ve got a few books I would hardly charge more than a buck for. Especially if it meant seeing a cutie like you around here a little more often.” Her tail flicked about, betraying her earnest joy and making Jason blush hotter. “It’s okay to ask. I don’t mind explaining.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “U-uh…Y-yeah. H-how…I mean, you…”

“Please, call me Selina.”

He nodded vigorously. “S-Selina…why do you…um…how do you have a, um…”

“Oh, I could just eat you up!” she teased, leaning in closer. “My grandmother was a meta-human. Some old experiment, I guess, and suddenly she was a real-life furry. Weird, right? Well it suited her just fine. Rather than show it off, though, she kept it her little secret and opened up this cozy little place.” Selina strolled about the aisle, giving Jason a mini tour to accompany her story. “I guess my mother inherited some things, but nothing that could be seen. Then she met the love of her life and got knocked up before they could even think to get married. Then I came along and, as it turns out, her beloved didn’t want a freak for a child.”

“I don’t think you’re a freak,” Jason blurted out. He wasn’t sure why, but he was pretty sure he’d tell her whatever she wanted to hear if it meant he could listen to her more.

Selina winked at him. “Don’t worry. I’m not bitter. Mom was pretty good to me. Raised me right, I think. At least right enough that I’m here now doing fine.” She tapped a manicured nail over a few books as she passed by a shelf before letting out a soft exclamation. “This one’s perfect.” She took a single book off the shelf and held it out to Jason. “You strike me as a fan of the classics.”

Jason accepted the book and smiled upon seeing the cover; a black cat wearing a bowtie and holding a pistol. “The Master and the Margarita,” he said with a sigh. It wasn’t his favorite book, but now the demon cat would forever remind him of Selina. “One of the greats.”

“Keep it,” she said, to Jason’s surprise.

“What? N-no, I couldn’t. I’ll pay for it,” he reached into his pocket, meaning to pull out one of the bills that was change from his pizza. But she put her hands up to stop him.

“It’s okay. I want you to have it,” she insisted. “Think of it as a recommendation from a fellow bookworm. Now you’ll have to come back, okay? That way you can recommend your favorites to me.”

Jason held the book to his chest and nodded. “This is…I mean…Thank you.” He thought long and hard, feeling that perhaps he’d met a true fan of literature who might come close to his caliber. The thought was…intoxicating. “Do you um…I mean…”

“Cat got your tongue?” she teased.

“Strange Library.”

She scoffed. “I mean, this place is a little strange but—”

“No! No, I mean…um…Murakami. Do you have anything by Murakami?”

Selina led him a few aisles over and admitted, “He’s not really one that I’m familiar with. More modern classic, you know?”

Jason found exactly what he was looking for. He drew out the thin, unusually folded book labeled ‘Strange Library.’

“You…you should read this one,” he told her. “It’s…it’s short and…honestly I think it was meant for kids but…”

Selina skimmed over the information on the back and smiled. “Sheep man, huh? Color me curious.” She hugged the book to her chest and Jason found himself feeling oddly jealous. “Hey, I never caught your name.”

“Oh. Jason,” he told her.

“Oh Jason.” She smiled and Jason actually felt weak at the knees. “I’ll see you around then.”

How had that girl been there, not a few blocks from where he lived, and he’d never met her before? She was amazing. He found himself actually feeling the childish desire to tell his mother about her. He wanted to tell his mother quite a bit, though. So he tucked the book into an inner pocket in the new leather jacket and took his time walking back to Crime Alley, allowing himself to really take everything in. When he finally found the courage to return to Liam’s place, he was relieved to find that he was the only one home. He quickly counted out the full three thousand dollars for Liam and left just that amount in the duffel bag. He tossed the bag carelessly into the man’s bedroom.

Next, he counted out five hundred dollars and hid it in his mother’s dresser drawer. He didn’t trust her not to spend it on drugs, but he at least hoped that having the amount that had been stolen from her returned would take a load off her mind.

Finally, he stashed the rest of the cash in the vent in the closet. He kept the remaining cufflink in the same pocket as the switchblade. It too would likely wind up being a sort of charm to him. Something that he would cherish.

Of course, maybe not in the same way that he’d cherish the book. He settled into the broken reclining chair in the living room and started to read through it.

It felt like forever before his mother opened the door. There wasn’t any light from outside aside from the one dim streetlamp that would flicker in the alley. Jason didn’t even bother bookmarking his page before tucking it back into his inner coat pocket. “Mom! Mom, you’ll never guess what happened today!”

“No now, honey. Please.”

Jason didn’t like to bother his mother. He knew that she had other things to worry about. And, since it was the end of the month, she must have felt horrible, thinking about what Liam would do if Jason didn’t pay up.

“Mom, it’s going to be okay!” Jason took the cufflink from his pocket and turned it over in his hand. It filled him with confidence. “It’s all going to be okay. See I—”

“Where did you get that?”

“That’s what I was going to tell you. See I—”

SLAP!

Jason recoiled in shock. His mother had never struck him before. It didn’t really hurt, but it stunned him. He didn’t know how to react. She snatched the cufflink right out of his hand.

“WHO GAVE YOU THIS?”

“I…M-Mom, I—”

“GODDAMNIT, YOU WILL TELL ME!”

SLAP!

Jason couldn’t figure out what was happening. Why was his mother so upset? What had he done wrong?

“HOW DID HE FIND YOU?”

“He?”

“WHY DID HE DO THIS?”

Jason trembled, frozen in place. “I…”

“WHY DIDN’T HE DO MORE?”

SLAP!

Just then the front door exploded open. Jason’s mother screamed, putting herself behind him as the intruders stepped in. He stared at the three people in red ski masks, not quite able to register what was going on.

“OH GOD, JASON, DON’T LET THEM HURT ME!”

That was all Jason needed to hear. He put his arms out, doing his best to make his mother seem small behind him. He had to make sure that she was safe. No matter what, he had to protect her.

The cold metal barrel of a gun pressed to Jason’s forehead and all he could think to do was glare at the man holding the gun. This man wasn’t after him or his mother. He knew that. The guy was there for Liam.

“Wait!” One of the people accompanying the man interjected in a voice that was painfully familiar.

“Shut up, boy.” Apparently the man didn’t answer to the others with him. “Now. Where’s Mr. Distal?”

This was it. One wrong move and it would be all over. And yet, Jason couldn’t bring himself to back down. “Not my fucking problem.” He took the cufflink back from his trembling mother and held it out to the guy, willing to give up anything to protect her. “This should cover his debt. Now leave us alone.”

The man smirked and tapped the barrel of the gun on Jason’s forehead. “You’re cute kid. You think a little knick knack’s going to make up for the smack your old man owes?”

“He’s not my old man,” Jason said quickly. Even in the face of death he refused to be associated with that scumbag. The man pushed the gun just a bit more, making him back track a bit. “Those are real diamonds. It should cover his ass and then some,” he tried to reassure the guy.

That seemed to earn the man’s attention. He took the cufflink greedily and looked it over. “This belong to a Wayne? How’d a brat like you get his hands on it?”

“Does it matter? Just take it and leave us alone.”

Jason wasn’t sure why he trusted the masked man to leave them. The guy seemed more interested in keeping the cufflink for himself. “Sorry kid. Valiant of you to try and cover that scumbag’s debt, but he needs to be taught a lesson.” Jason’s jaw set as he realized that they were still in imminent danger. “Something tells me you’re not that important to him, so do me a favor and step aside so I can put one in that bitch’s head.”

Jason narrowed his eyes and kept his arms out. “You’re not going to touch my mother,” he warned.

“Guess not.” Once again, the barrel was leveled with his forehead. “Hate to punish a good deed, but if you’re this stubborn, you’ll only be a problem anyways.”

“Dad, wait—” One of the other intruders reached out only to get smacked in the face with the pistol.

“Would you shut the fuck up already? Honestly, you’re more trouble than you’re worth!”

Jason wondered if he was losing his mind. The younger of the intruders sounded like Dick. But why would Dick be there? Why would he be one of the people Liam owed money to?

Before he could process, the smallest of the three intruders suddenly jumped on the biggest. “I’m done letting this shit happen!” It was a girl’s voice that came from the masked intruder. “I won’t stand for it anymore!”

Now that he really looked at her, the girl was tiny. She was fighting for his life and she looked like she didn’t weigh more than—

Oh no.

Jason lunged at the guy, doing what he could to try to get the gun from him.

Dick had called the big man ‘Dad,’ so Jason didn’t dare to pull the knife out. But the girl had to be Pierrot. Pierrot was important to Dick. If only he could get to the gun, then maybe—

BANG!

His mother screamed and Jason fell backwards, hands running over himself as he searched for the inevitable bullet hole that he couldn’t seem to feel.

But then the girl fell.

“Fuck! Little cunt got blood on my nice shoes!”

No.

Dick finally moved, grabbing his father’s right hand and snapping the wrist, forcing the gun out only to take it and point it at his father shakily. “You…you…”

“You little son of a bitch! If there’s any lasting damage, I’ll put a bullet in you next!”

“Get out.”

Dick’s voice was so low that it sounded like tiger growling. Apparently his father didn’t have to be told twice. He left, abandoning his son and the girl in Liam’s home.

Jason moved to check on the girl. He had to make sure that she was okay. He had to check her pulse. Something.

“Don’t touch her.”

Jason kept his hands up as Dick turned the gun on him. His heart thudded in his chest, but a part of him still knew that Dick wouldn’t hurt him. But that didn’t mean Dick was in his right mind in that moment.

Jason’s mother wailed and it was all he could think to do to go to her. She took him into her arms frantically and he just stood there in silence.

“Heh…”

Jason looked back and saw Dick cradling the girl in his arms.

“Heheh…”

Jason wasn’t certain, but he thought that he could hear laughter.

But that couldn’t be right. Dick was a happy-go-lucky person, but he never seemed genuine. There had always been a sort of duplicitous side to him that Jason had just gotten used to. That mask was what allowed Dick to be somewhat approachable.

But that mask hadn’t just slipped this time, it had shattered.

Part of Jason was lost in the fear. Lost in the situation. Everything had happened so fast. What if it was irreparable? He didn’t want that. Dick was a lot, but he was still a friend.

Before Jason could think of something to say, Dick had carried the girl out of Liam’s place and out into the rainy night.

“Oh God. Why? Why didn’t he help us? Why did he let this happen?”

After everything, Jason couldn’t take his mother protecting Liam once again. “Liam doesn’t give two shits about you or me!” he snapped at his mother. “All that matters is that we pay him to put us through hell! It’s insane!”

His mother shook her head. “Not Liam. Damnit Jason, why won’t your father help us?”

Jason caught his mother’s shoulders. Now she was just being hysterical. “Mom, you don’t know my—”

“Why won’t Thomas help us?”

Jason shook her just a bit. “What are you talking about?”

She shook her head hard and told him, “Thomas Wayne can afford it. I don’t know why he won’t help us.”

“Thomas…Wayne?”

Jason wanted to laugh. “That’s…That’s a good one, Mom. Thomas Wayne. Yeah right.”

Before his mother could confirm or deny, an arm wrapped around Jason’s neck and lifted high enough that he couldn’t breathe well. He reached up to try to free himself only to get shoved hard enough that he hit the floor.

“You tricky little bitch.” It was Liam’s voice. When had he returned? “You never told me we had a goldmine available right under our noses.”

Jason tried to get up but Liam stomped down hard between his shoulder blades.

“L-Liam…I’m sorry. I thought…I thought that if I could just get Thomas to acknowledge him…But all he did was send that stupid scholarship.”

Jason didn’t know what to say. Things had gone from bad to worse, but on top of that, Jason was supposed to believe that somehow he was…he was a…

“Don’t know why you were holding out on me, Todd. The possibilities are endless.”

Jason wanted to get away. He wanted to get far away and never look back. But Liam looped his belt around Jason’s neck and pulled it tight, waiting for Jason to stop thrashing. In no time, his world was swallowed by darkness.

…

…

RHEEEE!

Jason awoke startled, trying to cover his ears as awful screeching sound of the nearby bats. He’d come to really hate it when they woke up. Just a small group of bats to remind him of the horrible situation that he was in.

The first day had been the worst.

Liam said he had to be “broken in.” Jason didn’t know what that meant at the time, but now he supposed it made sense.

Everybody wants a piece of the Waynes, after all.

It shouldn’t have surprised him that Liam and his men had a designated place for this sort of depravity. What did surprise him was that it was dark and musty enough for a small colony of bats to take residence in the attic. Jason dreaded hearing them as they woke up. It meant that the sun was gone, and nights brought clients.

“No more,” Jason whimpered into his hands. “Please…”

He could hear the door opening in the distance and pulled himself as far into the corner of the room as he could. The cool concrete pressed against his shoulder blade where Mr. Powers (as Liam referred to him) liked to put out his cigars.

“Hey there, my little cash cow.”

Jason hadn’t seen Liam in what must have been weeks. The last time Liam showed his face it was to show Jason what he called his ‘pedigree;’ a blood test that proved that Jason was related to Thomas Wayne. That proof was enough to get a clientele. Most clients worked with or around Wayne Enterprises and had a grudge against the family.

Jason had become the target of their rage.

“You’re looking a little pale, kiddo. You think it’s about time you saw the outside again?”

Jason didn’t dare hope for any show of kindness from his captor.

“Your mom misses you. I’m sure she’d love to know that you’re still doing well. And don’t you have some school chums or something? I mean, SOMEONE should have realized that you’re missing.”

Jason pulled his knees up and hugged them, ignoring the soreness that he felt. He couldn’t think of anything. His mother hadn’t stopped this. His friends hadn’t been looking for him. Nobody cared. All that mattered was how much money he could make Liam. He knew that. That was all he was allowed to know…

“And, as it turns out, Mayor Hill himself is quite the fan of school boys.”

There was the catch that Jason was waiting for.

“So as a little reward for being so useful, I think you’ve earned yourself a day on the outside.” Liam threw a brand new Gotham Academy uniform onto the mattress in the otherwise empty room. “Sleep tight, my little bastard. In the morning Mr. Moxon’s going to make sure you’re ready for school. Once school’s out, Mayor Hill will pick you up at the gate himself. Isn’t that generous?”

Jason just hugged his knees tighter.

“I asked you a question, kid.”

Jason shook as he looked up to meet Liam’s unfeeling gaze. “Y-yes sir…”

Liam smirked. “That’s better. You oughtta show a little more gratitude when you get treated so nice, or I won’t be so inclined to be nice in the future.”

“Yes…Thank you…sir…”

Liam chuckled as he left. The only solace Jason felt was in knowing that he had a few hours before he’d have to deal with Mr. Moxon and his gun fetish.

…

…

“Thanks for the good time, kid. Have a nice day at school.” Lew Moxon was already pulling away when Jason only had one foot out of the car door. He fell forward as the man pulled away, scraping his palms on the concrete.

The light outside felt might have felt nice if he wasn’t so blinding. Were it not for a nagging voice in the back of his head reminding him that he couldn’t look so pathetic in front of his fellow classmates.

Jason was barely able to get to his feet before someone had caught him by the arm and was dragging him away.

Jason didn’t even bother to struggle. What did it matter? The only trouble was how much his body still hurt from his session with Moxon. He closed his eyes, letting himself be dragged along. He was spun about so that his back pressed against a wall. Only then did he bother to open his eyes, only to be greeted by a very concerned looking Dick Grayson.

Jason’s heart felt heavy. The last thing he remembered about Dick was the girl who had been shot. The day when he had first…

Dick’s hand touched Jason’s cheek and Jason found the gentleness in the motion…comforting. The warmth emanating from his friend reminded him of simpler times. Or…perhaps just gentler clients. It was all a bit of a mess now in his head.

“What did he do to you?” Dick finally asked.

Jason moved away from Dick’s touch, suddenly painfully aware that his friend knew the man who had done this to him. “H-he?”

Dick looked so…apologetic? “Who is Distal?”

The name alone was enough to make Jason feel the morning’s session all over again. To feel the day he’d been “broken in.” Maybe Dick would help him to get away. Maybe…

…maybe Liam would find another way to punish Jason.

“I…I have to…protect my mother…” Jason muttered, recalling Liam’s leverage.

“She would have let you die.”

Jason thought back to the night with the Red Hoods and nodded. “I…know…”

“Jay, she’s not worth it. Please. Neither of them are worth it. Let me help you.”

Jason wanted to agree. Every part of him wanted to agree and beg for Dick to save him but…she was his mother…Even if she wasn’t a very good mother, she was all he had.

Why had she let him be used like that, though? Didn’t she love him? It didn’t make sense. Mothers were supposed to be there for their children. That’s what Jason had always believed. It had been a little difficult, having to provide for her for so long, but she still loved him…right?

Dick proceeded to touch Jason’s face again, though this time Jason could feel the wetness of a tear being wiped away. “I was there,” he confessed. “I…I was one of the Red Hoods.”

Jason nodded. He’d figured that out a long time ago but…maybe that was too much information to share. “I…I think I knew that…” For a brief moment, Jason felt sympathy for someone else again. “I’m…I’m sorry about her…”

Dick sighed and proceeded to dodge the subject. “What happened?” he asked, making Jason wither. “Where have you been?”

After everything that had happened…after all that Dick had lost…he still cared. Somehow that reached a part of Jason that he had long thought was gone. He rubbed his eyes, trying to stop the tears. The clients liked seeing him vulnerable, but Dick wasn’t a client. Dick would never hurt him…

…Dick had pointed a gun at him…

Jason shook his head. How could he doubt Dick? Dick, who had always been there. Dick, who had just wanted him to admit that he needed help.

He needed help. There was no denying it anymore. But where to start?

“I’m…I’m not…I’m not a Todd…” Maybe that was the best place to begin. After all, it was his father…no…it was the man whose blood he shared who was to blame…right?

“What does that mean?” Jason could hardly think of the word she needed to get the message through to his friend, but Dick kept trying. “Please, Jay. I just want to help. I can protect you. I can fix this.”

Jason knew better. There was no fixing his situation. There was no going back.

“I just need to know what—”

“I’m beyond help.” Jason forced himself to stop crying. He was asking for help, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore, especially not him. “I’m…I’m a Wayne…” Being a Wayne had seemed like such an amazing thing when it was just a pipe-dream. If only he could have been Bruce’s brother and not…not a warm body that people used when they didn’t like Bruce’s family.

“What?”

Dick took a step back and Jason found himself moving on instinct, trying to reach out to keep him there only to step forward and stumble into his arms. He wasn’t thinking. Walking wasn’t easy, after all. How could it be? After how he’d been used that morning…

“I got the Wayne Foundation Scholarship one day and I just…I was happy. It meant so much to me. It opened up a world of opportunities and then…and then I met Bruce and…I thought I could be happy. I thought I’d been given the chance to…But it was just Thomas’ way to write me off. I guess Mom had been trying to get something from him because he left her with…me…”

Jason had never actually met Thomas Wayne. Couldn’t pick him out of a lineup if he was asked. His best guess would be a man who looked something like Bruce. How could Jason really be related to someone as perfect as Bruce?

Especially considering what Jason had done.

“I…I did…things,” Jason began. “I wasn’t proud of what I did, but we…we needed money and…I could keep stealing or I could try something else. But…the day that you saved me…I mean, they didn’t just want…” Jason closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It had been a while since he’d been expected to maintain a full conversation. Everything felt like too much. “And Bruce…he just wanted to help. He just gave me a little thing—it was nothing, should have meant nothing—but Mom knew it belonged to a Wayne and Liam found out who Thomas was to her and…The Waynes have many enemies. People who want to hurt them or want revenge on them or just feel under appreciated by them. They…they have so many reasons to seek Liam out, and he takes them to me. For a price, they can…I mean…” He had to take another steadying breath. “Liam negotiates the price for what they want and I…” He swallowed a lump in his throat and let his eyes look up into Dick’s. “Most people would pay good money to have their way with a Wayne.”

To Jason’s surprise, rather than show disgust with him, he just closed the distance between their faces and stole a kiss.

Jason had been taught the proper way to kiss. He knew the signs to look for to tell what the person wanted from him. He knew when to nibble at their lip, to part his lips and allow his mouth to be explored, to press his tongue forward to taste and be tasted, to let his lip be bitten and worried until it bled…A kiss done right could earn more consideration for the rest of the session.

But Dick’s kiss came with no expectation. No explanation. It was simple. Soft. Unassuming. Gentle. Almost as if…as if Dick may actually…

Dick pulled back slowly and cupped Jason’s face in his hands. “Tonight…come to the circus. Come see the show. It’ll be worth it. Don’t even worry about buying a ticket. Just go. Get the best seat in the house.” Dick was smiling now. It had been a while. Jason could no longer tell if the mask was in place. What he could tell was that something was different. “I promise that tonight, I’ll make you smile.”

But how was Jason supposed to do that? He was only there at all because Liam had allowed it, and Liam had only allowed it because Mayor Hill had requested a more authentic school boy situation. He shook his head, unable to think of a way to pull that off. “I…I don’t think I—”

“Don’t go with anyone. Don’t go home. Just…promise me you’ll come.”

The thought of what sort of punishment Liam or…any of the clients might come up with if he were to slip away even for just one night… “If I don’t…earn…I’ll—”

“Just one night. That’s all I need.”

One night. Could Jason manage that? Mayor Hill was rough, but he was also happy to reward certain things. Maybe he could earn a single night of freedom. It would be nice to return to that wondrous show where Dick had managed to blur the lines between reality and fantasy.

Jason wanted it, and Dick looked so earnestly hopeful. He’d promised…which meant nothing anymore. Bruce had promised to help once…His mother had promised to take care of him…But Jason wanted it more than anything.

So he nodded.

It was all he had to offer. No guarantee. No promises of his own. Promises meant nothing anyways. But maybe, for just one night, he could be allowed to have that beautiful dream once more.

Then the first bell rang. Jason had nothing else to say to Dick. He didn’t even know what one day of school would do for him. He just knew, deep down, that he wanted to see Bruce. That he wanted to have a normal day. So he ran off, assuming that Dick would be hurrying off to his first class as well.

As he passed by the main building, Jason ran right into Bruce.

Bruce Wayne.

The one he’d once longed to call brother.

His…his half-brother…

The one who had given him the gift that started his hell.

Jason wanted to throw himself into Bruce’s arms. He longed for the reassurance from his best friend…But upon looking him in the eyes, he found that he couldn’t speak. He could hardly breathe. How could he possibly ruin Bruce’s perfect world?

No, Jason couldn’t face him. He instead ran off, desperate to keep his distance from Bruce, who never deserved to have his world stained with Jason’s sinful life.

He managed to avoid Bruce for the rest of the school day. In fact, he didn’t have to say a word the whole day. His teachers hardly acknowledged him aside from marking him as present on their role sheets for a change. Everyone seemed content knowing that he wasn’t dead, and they resumed their unfounded judgment of what they thought he did.

Not that he could blame them. After all, he was dirtier than they would ever know.

When school let out, Jason reluctantly waited for most of the school to clear out before heading to the gates and finding the limo where Mayor Hill awaited him.

One of Hill’s usual staff opened the door for Jason, who looked back at Gotham Academy one last time before stepping into the car. Inside, Hill was already waiting, martini glass in one hand and Jason’s old backpack in the other.

“How was your day, Jason?” he asked before taking a sip.

“G-good, sir.” Jason has taken to calling the male clients sir, unless they requested otherwise. All of them, though, preferred the thought of having power over him.

Hill placed a hand on Jason’s thigh, holding him in place while he set his drink down and pulled the backpack over. “You forgot your book bag, son. That can’t have made things easy.”

Jason took the bag nervously. Usually gifts like this came with strings attached. But there was an odd weight to it.

“Go on. I think you forgot your assigned reading in there. Want to tell me about your school curriculum? Do you like the books your teachers assign?”

Jason cautiously unzipped the bag and found the leather jacket from the pawn shop. He pulled it out and felt a couple of things in the pockets that surprised him.

“Oh, no need to cover up your uniform quite yet. It’s okay to be a little proud of your schooling. Gotham Academy is the finest in the country, you know.”

Jason nodded and reached back into his bag to find the copy of The Master and the Margarita that Selina had given him.

Just holding it made his chest hurt.

“A bold choice for a school to have its students read. Have you had the chance to read it?”

Jason hugged the book to his chest, recalling the feelings that Selina had brought to him when he had met her. How he longed to see her again.

And a plan came to mind.

“I…I had only begun to read it,” he told the Mayor. “I got my copy from an infamous local shop. The owner sold it to me. She had a lot of opinions on it…She was very knowledgeable about banned books. I’m sure she might have some opinions on it.”

Hill seemed dubious about the thought, but he was always so thorough about his scenarios. “What’s the name of the shop, son? Maybe we’ll stop there on the way.”

“La Chat Noire Solitaire.”

To Jason’s amazement, Mayor Hill had his chauffer take them to the cozy little used bookstore that was only a few blocks from Liam’s place.

Jason was allowed to lead the Mayor inside, flanked on each side by the Mayor’s usual entourage.

The bell rang as they opened the door and Jason found himself regretting his choice. How could he bring this to Selina’s store? What was he thinking?

“Hel—oh, can I help you?”

Jason’s eyes met with those pale green eyes again and he wanted to apologize and run away. Before he could think of what to tell her, Selina cozied up to one of the security guards, pressing against his chest and saying in her purr of a voice, “You, sir, look like a fan of true crime. Can I interest you in a few titles?”

The natural charm that seemed to ooze off of her worked wonders and the man happily let her lead him to the far corner of the shop while Hill proceeded to quiz Jason on the classics, thrilled by how much Jason seemed to know.

“You really are a great student, aren’t you?” Hill wrapped his arm around Jason’s waist and pulled him in close. “Good students should be rewarded. Do you like getting good grades? I’m sure tonight you’ll get an A+.”

Jason squirmed under his touch, but didn’t dare to pull away.

After a few minutes, Hill grew impatient with his guard, who still hadn’t returned since Selina had taken him aside.

“Frank, it’s time to go!” Hill shouted. “Oh, son, is there a book you’d like me to get for you? You deserve a reward for studying so hard, after all.”

Jason licked his lips, straining his ears to hear anyone else or anything else in the sore. “Strange Library,” he told the Mayor.

At that moment, a whip lashed out around the other guard’s neck, pulling him into an aisle with tremendous force. The Mayor pulled out a gun, but Jason had taken the switchblade he found in his leather jacket and stabbed it into the man’s arm. Hill screamed for only a moment before a black strip of fabric snapped over his mouth and the cat-like woman Jason had met was pulling him back with the whole of her weight.

“Sorry, Mr. Mayor. I don’t take kindly to kiddie-fiddlers here, even if they’re people with political power.” She kicked out his knees from behind before punching him in the face, knocking him out cold.

Jason just fell to his knees and stared at the mess that he’d made.

“Jason? Jason, are you alright?”

Jason couldn’t help but sob as Selina knelt down to his level and looked at him sadly. She reached out and smoothed his hair, her fingers lingering around the dusting of silver that had become apparent in a streak right at his forehead.

“Th-thank you…”

Her tail swished behind her as she pulled him in for a hug. “I’m glad you came here,” she told him. “I’m glad I could help.”

“I’m sorry for the trouble,” he muttered against her shoulder. She was beautiful. Alluring. But right now, she was just comforting and warm and that was enough. “I…I needed help.”

“I’ll take care of this. Don’t worry. Do you have a place to stay? There’s a spare room upstairs. I could—”

Jason pulled away from her and stared at her incredulously. “Why?” he wondered. “Why would you help me?”

She pulled him back, pressing her forehead to his. “Hey. Don’t do that. You came here for help. I can see that. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not like that. If you thought I was, would you even be here?”

Jason closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in her scent. “No…Sorry…Thank you…”

She pulled him in for a hug.

“I don’t know what’s happened but…I want to help you, okay? Please just…come back here. No matter what it takes, come back here.”

What Selina had to offer him was unconditional. It was amazing. It was more than he ever felt he deserved, but he still felt himself drawn to it. He nodded against her shoulder and let her hold him until his heartbeat slowed. Then she went about, ‘dealing with the garbage,’ as she put it, having him stay up at the front counter where she had a small bowl of tuna salad stashed in the mini fridge that she insisted he ate.

Jason hadn’t been given much to eat beyond stale bread and tasteless gruel for weeks. The smell of the tuna initially made him feel sick, but the first bite was so savory and refreshing that he wound up cleaning the whole bowl before he could really process what he was putting into his system. It took Selina a couple of hours before she joined him behind the counter, and during that time Jason had only been faced with one customer who asked him if he could recommend a penny romance novel for her, to which Jason nervously told her about a James Patterson novel that was a ‘quick read and a little dramatic, but full of fiery romance.’ Before shouting out the question of where they might find it and getting back a location for the ‘James Patterson section’ from Selina.

That interaction alone had left Jason’s heart racing, but as time passed he found himself more concerned by the lack of customers coming in the door. When Selina finally joined him at the counter she settled into a computer chair kept in front of the register and let it spin a few times while she stared at the ceiling.

“Thank you,” she told him.

“I think you mean ‘you’re welcome,’” he corrected. “And uhh, thank you. Seriously. I can’t even begin to—”

“No, not about that. I mean, no thank you for that, but thank you for trusting me. I…I think it’s helped me to make up my mind.”

Jason shifted on the stool he’d perched on—tolerating his own personal discomfort so that she’d have the nicer chair when she was done—and muttered, “C-can I ask what was weighing on you?”

She sat up and looked at him, worry apparent on her face. “Last time I saw you, you were certainly timid, but not to this extent. You’re making it hard not to go back and crack some skulls, cutie.”

Jason blushed, still bashful around her, and explained, “It’s…it’s been like a whole lifetime since then…”

She nodded. “Yeah…That’s why I think I’ll accept.”

“Accept what?”

She scratched her head and her tail curled slightly from where it stuck behind the seat. “You know Superman, right?”

Jason scoffed. “Man of Steel? Hero to all?” He blinked a few times and corrected himself. “Hero of Metropolis at least? Who doesn’t?”

She nodded. “He uhh…he came to me recently. The notoriety that my…you know…affords me, apparently came to his attention too. He came to me and asked me if I’d consider joining the Justice League. Thanks to you, I think I’ll give the hero thing a try.”

Jason scoffed only to cringe. Apparently he’d moved wrong and earlier injuries were severely aggravated. “Ngh…You…You’re already my hero but…they don’t make any difference.”

Selina pulled open a drawer and tossed him a small bottle of pills. He barely managed to catch it and read the label to find that they were basic, over-the-counter pain relievers. He dumped a small handful out and swallowed them dry while she watched. “Sweetheart, I know. I…I’ve helped out with minor things around the city but it never feels like enough. I couldn’t even imagine going to that space-based tower to play Earth-Cop. I think…I think that maybe I can do more from here.”

“You’re going to be a super hero then?” Jason wondered.

Selina shrugged. “Guess I’ve already screwed the pooch on the whole ‘secret identity’ thing, huh?” she joked.

“I’d never spill your secret,” he told her. “But…if you’re notorious around here for your cat-stuff, I feel like being a cat-hero would be a bit of a giveaway.”

She nodded. “Yeah. The tail really does betray me. Maybe something simpler then? I can always hide my tail. The cat-like reflexes are just a plus.”

Jason searched the nearby piles of books and his eyes landed on one title in particular; Queenpin. He smiled and told her, “Fatale.”

Selina tasted the name for a moment, smiling at the thought. “You think I’m a Femme Fatale, Jason?”

He shrugged. “I think some men should.”

She laughed and leaned back in her seat. “You’re a genius, Jason. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Jason scoffed. “Genius isn’t the word they usually use.”

She sat up quickly and touched two fingers to his knee. “I won’t let that happen again, okay? You…I want to be there for you.”

He laughed slightly. “They all wanted something from me. You’ll have to forgive me if I wonder what being with you will cost.”

She just sighed. “Don’t worry about that. Just…promise me you’ll come back here. That’s all I want.”

“Promises mean nothing,” he spat.

“They do to me,” she declared. “I’ll hold you to it too. If I don’t see you here within a 24-hour period right now, I’ll find you. Do you understand me?”

He didn’t. He really didn’t. His own mother had allowed Liam to do whatever he wanted. Why would this practical stranger care? Why did Dick care? Jason wasn’t worth their concern. He wasn’t worth their pity.

“Hey, look at me.” Selina was suddenly in front of him, her soft hands pressing his cheeks together a bit. “I need you to promise me. If you won’t, well, who knows what sort of crazy things I’ll do to make sure I know you’re safe.”

He pulled back and laughed slightly. “Okay…I promise…but tonight I have to be somewhere.”

She crossed her arms and leaned back against the counter. “Do I get to know?”

He nodded. “Haly’s Circus. I have a friend in the show. I guess he’s doing something special tonight. I…I told him I’d be there.”

She scoffed but her hands dropped to her hips. “I can’t go with you tonight. I have to make sure Mayor-menace gets his just desserts tonight. So, I need you to promise me again. You. Will. Come. Back. Here. Okay?”

Jason didn’t know that he could promise anyone anything, but he could promise that he really wanted to. “Yeah. I promise.”

She was satisfied with that. Before letting him leave she cleaned off his switchblade, forced him to drink two water bottles (he looked underfed and painfully dehydrated to her and she’d be damned if she was going to let him go anywhere like that). Finally, she fished out a pair of too-big sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt. Jason felt bad putting on the pants as they were almost too loose on him and that only seemed to worry her more, but she accepted that she couldn’t stop him that night. He had to promise her a few more times that he’d be back before she gave him cash for the taxi.

“I can’t—”

“It’s a loan, okay? When you come back we can figure out how you’ll pay me back. Besides, you sold a book earlier, so you’re already partway there.”

Jason accepted it and, however reluctantly, got a cab to the Circus grounds just outside of town. Upon reaching the tent he was a little surprised that there was no ticket-taker, but didn’t bother to push his luck. He just wanted to see his friend. There was no need to look the gift horse in the mouth.

But maybe he should have.

Dick settled onto the end of the bench where he and Bruce had been the last time. No one else was there. In fact, the crowd seemed a little spotty, which made Jason wonder just what Dick was planning that was going to make things better. Had he told anyone else about it?

“Welcome welcome, one and all, to what’s sure to be the most memorable night of your lives!”

The lights went out, but Jason could tell that the voice belonged to Dick and not the old ringmaster.

“Tonight’s show will be a little different. The clowns you naïve citizens have looked down upon will take to the light as those who flew above fall to the earth.”

A spotlight clicked on just in time to show both of Dick’s parents as they landed face first in the dirt, kicking up a small cloud of dust as their necks snapped. Jason had to cover his mouth as his body convulsed, threatening to cough up everything that he’d had back at La Chat. Just before his brain could get the message to his legs to get out of there, lights clicked on up overhead and Jason recognized Liam, tied and standing with a noose hanging loosely around his neck.

“What?”

Jason’s stomach dropped. Liam was in danger. Liam Distal, the man who had taken his mother in…the man who had abused her…abused him…sold him…He was in danger. He might die…

“Good god! Somebody stop this!”

Jason snapped back to reality with the exclamation from higher in the audience.

Jason looked to the other post and saw a man and woman in a similar position as Liam. The woman was frantically shouting out to someone in the audience…It wasn’t hard to spot a neatly dressed old man and Bruce trying to push their way to the ring.

“Well, Sheila, it’s time to prove just what sort of mother you are.”

The sickening sensation in Jason’s stomach worsened as his mother stepped out from behind the curtain. She looked terrified and held a gun shakily in her hands. Jason took a step forward, wanting to go to her, but he stumbled, again feeling the pain from Moxon’s morning treatment. “No,” he whispered. “No…”

“I give you a choice: punish the man who ruined your life, or punish the man who you blame for ruining your life!”

Dick had hardly finished stating the ultimatum before Jason’s mother had the gun raised at the couple on one post, breaking Jason’s heart.

Even now, she couldn’t see how Liam was the problem.

CLICK!

“Unbelievable.”

Though Dick sounded amused, Jason could feel his whole body loosening with relief at the knowledge that the gun wasn’t loaded.

“He wouldn’t hurt me,” Jason told himself. “No matter what…he’d never hurt me…”

“Even in your final opportunity, you fail to make up for what you’ve done.”

BANG!

“MOM!”

Caution thrown to the wind and pain largely ignored, Jason jumped over the edge of the ring and approached his mother. She wasn’t moving. He fell at her side and, out of habit, took her hand, checking her pulse.

Nothing.

“Mom…”

There were screams now. Someone had been killed. Something was wrong. Only then did the crowd realize that this wasn’t a show. As if the Graysons fall wasn’t bad enough. Jason’s shoulders shook as he was racked with tears.

“Alfred! Bruce!”

Jason looked up, now spotting Dick swinging above him as if this was still some kind of sick show. “It’s kind of funny, hearing you call for your child at a time like this,” he said, referring to the woman on the post opposite of Liam. “To think, Sheila couldn’t even spare her son a second thought. She just wanted to make sure that her son’s family finally suffered for abandoning them.”

Jason had heard enough. “Stop!” He stood up, letting his mother’s hand fall from his lap. His body felt heavy. Every breath felt heavy. But what Dick had done…it was some sort of sick way to make up for what had been done to Jason and it wasn’t right. “You’ve done enough! Just stop!”

Dick slipped off of the trapeze swing and landed nimbly on the platform with Liam. Liam moved to attack only to miss and nearly fall. Dick caught him before he could plummet to his death and looked down at Jason. In spite of Jason’s earlier pleas, he continued with his spectacle of horrors. “Your call, friend.” He shook Liam a bit, showing just how much Liam was relying on Dick’s grip to keep him from falling. “Just say the word and I’ll pull him back up.”

Jason’s head hurt. His heart hurt. Everything hurt. Dick would never hurt him…Why did he believe that? When had Dick ever proven that he was anything less than the wild animal that he was showing now? How was this making anything right?

Jason’s mother was gone. She wasn’t perfect…Maybe she wasn’t even good…But she was his. She was the woman who had given up so much to give him a life. She was the woman who would stroke his hair and call him handsome. She was the only one there when Liam hurt him…

Until she wasn’t…

…But now she’d never have the chance.

Jason looked up at Liam and Dick and, like something had snapped inside of him, he felt cold. It was as if the weight of the deaths around him were gripping his heart, preventing him from feeling.

Liam had hurt him.

Liam had sold him.

Liam had let people do things to him that he would never forget.

But killing Liam now wouldn’t fix anything.

Now that his mother was gone, there was nothing tying him to Liam.

“Dick…” Jason took a step towards the platform with Liam. “Please…”

But that wasn’t what Dick wanted. The look of astonishment on his face wasn’t one of understanding, but one of disappointment. Jason knew in that moment that his friend was too far gone. That there was nothing he could do for Liam. So he took a step back and closed his eyes, not wanting to watch.

Though he couldn’t see, he could hear the rope pull tight where it looped around his tormentor’s neck.

“Jason!”

Jason looked back at the bleachers and saw Bruce scrambling over and around seats and people, desperately trying to reach them in the ring. “Jason! You have to stop this!” Jason wanted to. He truly wanted to… “Dick! Please!”

“If only you could know what it’s like for people like us.”

That, Jason decided, was a step too far.

Bruce was the light of his life.

Bruce was the one who pulled Jason from the darkness.

Even if…Even if his actions had led to the hell that Jason had been thrust into, it was never intentional. All Bruce had ever done was help. All Bruce had ever done was care. How dare Dick wish that upon Bruce.

And how dare Dick believe that he and Jason were at all the same.

“You and I aren’t alike! I…” Jason looked at Liam’s limp corpse, the neck distended and the eyes bulging out of his head. “I couldn’t…”

Couldn’t he?

So many times he had wished worse for Liam. So many nights when his mother didn’t help him, the only way he could fall asleep was to imagine worse things happening to Liam. Now, with Liam gone…with his mother gone…Where was Jason supposed to go? Who was he supposed to be?

“Tell me, Jason Wayne.” The name made Jason wince. “Has it ever benefited you to share that man’s blood?”

Jason’s heart raced. How could Dick say it out loud? How could he tell Bruce that?

“N-no. He’s lying!” Bruce shouted as he continued to try to swim through the horde. “You’re not…you’re not—”

“This man’s blood is the reason for your suffering!” Dick shouted, pointing his gun at the couple on the far platform. “He’s the reason for what’s been done to you! He doesn’t deserve to live!”

Jason looked once again at Bruce as he cried, desperate to get to the ring like reaching that point would make any difference. He looked back at Dick, who had a smile so wide it looked like his face had split in two. He could only think of one thing to say in response to Dick’s claim.

“And you do?”

That gave Dick pause. He looked down at Jason like he was the one who had been shot. “I want to help you,” he said in a voice that sounded much more like the Dick Grayson that Jason remembered. Much more like the boy who had stolen a kiss that had no ill intention behind it. “I want to free you of your chains.”

Jason tried to cling to that slip in Dick’s mask once again. He tried to bring back the friend that he knew. The friend that he…that he loved…

“Are you joking? You just want to make yourself feel better for what you let happen.”

It was cruel, but it would force Dick to think. Back at Liam’s house, Dick hadn’t helped when the man in the ski mask was trying to shoot Jason. The girl—Pierrot—she had fought to the bitter end when Dick was able to disarm the man so easily. He had to realize that this wasn’t necessary. That this wasn’t helping anyone. He was just, as Jason began to believe, trying to relieve his own conscience for what had happened to Pierrot.

“Come down here,” Jason demanded. “Face me.” He held his arms out as if welcoming Dick into an embrace, the switchblade that had been in his pocket now lodged in his sleeve. “You don’t have to do this.”

For a moment Jason thought that Dick would ignore him, but instead he leapt down, landing much more gracefully than his parents had before approaching Jason. He reached out, ready to slide into Jason’s welcoming arms. Jason’s face felt hot as tears escaped his eyes. He had to stop this. Dick’s mask was gone now. Maybe he would listen to reason for a moment, but the man before Jason now wasn’t the friend who wouldn’t hurt him. He wasn’t the friend who just wanted to make sure that Jason got the help that he needed.

The man standing before Jason now was synonymous with a blood thirsty criminal now. There was no going back.

Jason pressed the button on the handle of the blade just as Dick was too close to get away and he took a swing at him, every intention of using Dick’s own advice from before and slicing his throat to put a more permanent end to the problem.

But Dick was quick, and as he moved Jason could feel the awful sensation of the metal forcing its way through soft flesh. As it pulled away, splashing blood out with the motion, Dick caught Jason’s wrist like he had his own father’s back in Liam’s place. One too-tight squeeze and Jason dropped the blade.

Jason refused to let the tears keep flowing. He glared at Dick, trying hard to get across that his only regret in that moment was not slicing open his neck. Dick just smiled—not in the menacing way he had been before, but in the way that he had been just after he’d stolen a kiss.

“It’s okay, Jaybird.”

Jaybird. When had Dick started calling him that? When had he gotten used to it? Birds could fly. They could fly far away. In that moment, all Jason wanted was to be able to fly. To get far away from there and never look back. But the awful screeching of the bats as they woke up kept ringing in his head, threatening to burst right out of his skull. Like those bats, he’d fly out of the horrible place where he’d been trapped only to return there, night after night, unable to escape the prison of his own mind…

Dick pulled Jason close and whispered right in his ear, “I’m the only one who can hurt you now.”

And just like that, he let Jason go, looked back up, and fired a single shot.

“NOOO!”

Blood sprayed from above and Jason didn’t have to look to know that Bruce’s parents were gone.

Just like the Graysons.

Just like his mother.

The three of them, united in a tragedy perpetrated by one of them.

There was no going back from this.

Dick retrieved the knife Jason had dropped and, with much more intent, forced it through and along Jason’s cheek in the same place where Jason had cut him, mirroring the horrible wound that Jason now realized was extending that twisted smile on Dick’s face even further.

Jason took a hesitant step back and placed a hand over his cheek. Warm blood oozed between his fingers, but he couldn’t feel the pain. All he felt was numb.

Dick Grayson had meant so much to him.

Now Dick Grayson would mean so much more.

Bruce continued to scream as the well-dressed man tried to scale the post to reach the Waynes, but there was no point.

This wasn’t Liam’s fault.

It wasn’t Thomas Wayne’s fault.

It wasn’t Sheila Todd’s fault.

This, Jason understood, was his fault. He had failed Bruce. He had let Dick’s heart be twisted. He had let it all happen.

Unable to listen to Bruce’s cries any longer, Jason finally took off, all his pain forgotten, and ran out into the cool night air of Gotham City as sirens blared in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eheh. I'm sorry?
> 
> Also, this was marked as a 3 chapter thing and, with this chapter, I added a 4th to the lineup...I'm so sorry. Don't hate me. It will take SIGNIFICANTLY LESS TIME than this chapter took. I kind of let this chapter get out of hand. It was always going to be a little longer but...Yeah...
> 
> Anywho, the next chapter is just a little epilogue to this prologue (paralogue? post-script?). It's just going to tie up a couple final loose ends and more concretely place the boys in their roles in this universe (meaning they're not just crazy tragic orphans, but also uhh, vigilantes or criminals or heroes or yeaaaah).
> 
> Anyways, thank you for putting up with me for this long! Sorry for the misery! Lord knows I love the twisty stuff!


	4. Selina Kyle - Epilogue (and tie-in)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years have passed since the tragic night at Haly's Circus. Selina Kyle is still a part of Jason's life, but their lives have changed in so many ways.
> 
> Now, with Jason experiencing unusual dreams, she finds herself worrying about him and hoping beyond hope that she might be able to protect him from whatever is coming for him this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand here's the ending!
> 
> I mean, it's also the beginning of where it's going to tie into "Probation," so there's that.
> 
> Again, reading Probation isn't necessary if you don't want to. Chances are I'll play more with this universe in the future. I'm fond of my killer Batman and my twisted Joker, after all.
> 
> Before I spoil anything more, this chapter is MILD compared to the others, but it DOES REFERENCE SUICIDE! Little explanation or details are given, but it is there. You have been warned (also the tags have been updated just for this short chapter, so yeah!).
> 
> Anyways, thank you for taking this journey! Sorry for all the mess! And...
> 
> HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM YOUR TWISTED NERD!

“NOOOO!”

Jason woke up screaming and it was all Selina could do to keep him from thrashing and hurting himself. It took a couple of long minutes for him to stop fighting her and finally recognize his surroundings.

“Jay? Jay, look at me. You’re okay. It’s over. I’ve got you.” She tried to pull him to her chest, but he sat up in spite of her inhuman strength and swung his legs off the side of the bed, hunching forward so that his face was buried in his hands. “Jay…”

“I’m sorry…It’s…It’s been a while since I dreamed about…” He didn’t have to say it. Selina was the only person who knew what he’d really been through. She could still remember the night vividly.

She was just giving an officer her statement regarding the Mayor’s actions, soliciting a minor in her establishment, when her cat-like hearing picked up something unusual nearby. She excused herself, trusting officer Gordon to take care of the rest, and went around to the alley by her shop to find Jason collapsed there.

Were it not for the enhanced strength that her mutation afforded her, she might not have been able to get him inside without help. That didn’t make it easy for her to get him up the stairs to the little apartment over the shop and lay him in her bed. He was hurt. He was bleeding. The left side of his mouth had been sliced from the corner of his lips towards his earlobe. In her panic, she used the number that Superman had left her to call for help.

Superman almost seemed put out upon reaching her apartment to find that what she was calling him for was basic medical help, but her desperation moved him and he used his own contacts to bring someone there who was much more familiar with that sort of thing.

John Constantine, though, was more than she was ready to deal with.

The man boasted of impossible magical ability, but he could only speed up the healing process. Selina begged him to get rid of the scar, but he just claimed in that shrewd accent of his that ‘the boy’s mug would always look like the fuckin’ Cheshur ‘cuz there was a grudge keepin’ the wound from truly healing.’

She called bullshit, but he didn’t offer any further help.

Had she known that someday Jason and John would see each other as equals, maybe she wouldn’t have given him such a hard time.

“Lie down, Jay. Please. I’m fine. You’re fine. You need to rest.” She crawled over to him, letting the blankets slide off of her naked form as she draped herself over his back, doing what she could to cover his scars with her body.

But Jason stood up and found a pair of boxers, leaving her in the room alone.

Selina knew that she loved him.

She’d known from the first moment he’d pulled on her tail that there was something about him that had stolen her heart.

Because of him, she was a superhero. Because of him she had dedicated her life to doing good.

Because of him, she lost a lot of sleep at night.

Taking the black silk kimono off of the chair in the room, she threw it on and went after him, not wanting to leave him alone when he was like that.

The mansion was a labyrinth in its own right. When Alfred had first found Selina and Jason at the bookstore, his offer had seemed too good to be true.

Bruce Wayne, sole-surviving heir to the Wayne family name, wanted to share his inheritance with Jason…

…who was apparently related to him.

A blood test confirmed it. Legal documents were made up and signed. But when Alfred offered for Jason to move into the Wayne Mansion, Jason had adamantly refused.

In the end it had taken Bruce himself to convince Jason.

Selina knew that Jason had been broken. The news had covered the incident at Haly’s Circus for days after it had happened. Amateur footage had captured the deaths of the Flying Graysons, the notorious gangster, the common prostitute, and the Waynes themselves. Jason did his best to fill in the gaps for Selina and she did her best to help fill the holes that the tragedy had created in him.

Upon seeing Brue, she realized that Jason wasn’t the only one who had been so broken by it all.

Bruce barely seemed to see anything at all. Jason cowered away from him, apologizing for things that couldn’t possibly be his fault. Alfred—Bruce’s butler—remained solemn as his master continued to push his offer on Jason.

As time went on and it became apparent to Jason that Selina couldn’t afford to take care of him, keep up with her family’s shop, and accomplish much as Gotham’s new heroin; Fatale, he finally accepted the offer and moved into the manor.

He extended the offer to her, but she wasn’t ready to live away from the shop yet, so they parted knowing that they’d both see each other again.

A week later Bruce Wayne was found dead in his room—hanging from the chandelier.

No note.

No warning.

Again, Jason was broken. Selina spent a lot of time at the Mansion then. She got to know Alfred, who had taken Bruce’s suicide even harder than Jason had. She learned that he had been an old friend of Thomas Wayne. They’d met during the butler’s time in the secret service years back and after the man had saved his life, he pledged his loyalty. But upon coming to serve him in America, he found himself completely taken with Martha. Guilt had eaten away at him for years as he pined over her in spite of his friendship with Thomas and in spite of their child. But she wound up seeking comfort from him for Thomas’ indiscretions and he had succumbed to his feelings, believing that in some way he was just keeping them all happy.

Losing them had destroyed him, but he’d vowed to take care of their son until his dying breath.

Then Bruce killed himself.

Alfred was distraught, but still determined to carry out his vow. As Bruce would have wanted, he swore to take care of Thomas’ son—Jason—as long as the young man would let him.

“Miss Kyle. I’m sorry, but Master Jason isn’t feeling well,” Alfred said, stepping in her way as she tried to get to the grandfather clock on the first floor.

“I know, Alfie. He shouldn’t be alone.”

“He wanted me to ask you for some time,” Alfred explained, stepping to the side to match her movement.

“You know how he gets,” she said angrily. “Please, just let me go to him.”

“Miss Kyle, there are some things that you and I simply cannot fix.”

She sighed. One forceful push moved the older man aside and she moved the clock hands to 10:48—the time that Alfred first found Bruce’s body—revealing the secret entrance to the Batcave. The lights clicked on and the bats chirped and rustled as their slumber was once again disturbed (Selina would often spend quieter days in Jason’s bed rather than nights since they were both often too busy to bother).

The Batmobile was already gone.

She flipped on the Bat-Computer to find a map showing a triangulated location in Jump City.

Alfred stepped in behind her and explained, “There have been temporal disturbances. Master Jason has been looking into them.”

“I know about the disturbances. The League has been trying to trace them for the last month now,” she told him. “Clark’s not going to be happy to know that Batman beat him to it again.”

“You and I both know that it’s best if Superman doesn’t know what Batman is up to,” Alfred pointed out.

After a few years of solo work, Selina came to recognize the benefits to being a part of the Justice League and had accepted Superman’s invitation. Upon her acceptance she suggested that Gotham’s other hero be considered as well only to be met with a unanimous vote against the idea.

Batman, after all, had a violent streak.

Selina could understand why Jason was willing to put a more permanent end to some criminals, but it was a strictly accepted rule among the League that, though they acted as judge and jury, they would never take on the role of executioner.

Unfortunately, in spite of Jason’s brutal track record, he wasn’t able to give the Joker a more permanent end. Selina often found herself wondering if it was a tragic sense of kinship that was still ingrained in his heart. History suggested, however, that Dick Grayson was simply that good.

“He had a nightmare tonight,” Selina muttered as she made a mental note of the location that Batman was checking out. “He’s been having them more frequently lately.”

“Ten times this month,” Alfred confirmed. “He has them logged and found that they correlated to the worst spikes in the temporal fluxes.”

Selina was surprised to hear that. “Why would something like that affect him?”

“I wish I knew, Miss Kyle. But unfortunately the only thing he’s told me is that sometimes the dreams don’t feel like his own.”

Selina’s tail flicked as her curiosity piqued. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Alfred pulled up a file on the computer showing a typed-out journal.

The first entry was pretty straight forward; Jason was having nightmares again from his time spent in the dark house with the men Liam had sold him to.

The next entry mentioned Bruce with the unusual remark that he’d dreamt Bruce had become Batman instead of him.

“What the hell?”

The entries only got stranger. Dreams of a different man who reminded him of Dick beating him with a crowbar while his mother was tied up nearby. Dreams where Dick wore a different sort of costume and fought criminals. Dreams where he had attacked Bruce, blaming him for letting the Joker kill him.

“These aren’t right at all,” Selina muttered.

“I’m afraid Master Jason’s no stranger to nightmares, but as he continued to log them this past month, he found that on days when the temporal fluxes were reported, his dreams were of things that he didn’t recognize.” Alfred placed a hand on Selina’s shoulder. “These disturbances may have more to do with him than the League realizes. Perhaps it would be best if, just this once, you went to Superman with this information.”

Selina covered his hand with hers and sighed. “I’m worried about him too. I’ll try to catch up with him. If anything happens, don’t worry. I’ll have the cavalry ready.” She gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek before returning up the stairs to the mansion to find her clothes. It was starting to get late, after all, and Fatale worked best at night.


End file.
